"Molah says the sad bits made him sad, the funny bits made him lol, and concludes that the film is objectively good because it’s good at elaborating on stuff from previous Marvel films. That’s a mark of objective quality by the way. Sucks if you wanted to enjoy it as its own movie!" ― Jack, about a video where MauLer never says the word objective
Jack Saint is a YouTube media analyst who usually looks at the more political implications of what he reviews. He is among the most powerful commanders of the Massives, with advanced video essayist skills, as well as several fields of strawmen under his command, he has proven to be a major adversary to EFAP. He has a noteworthy accent, and as such calls MauLer "Molah."
Campaign Against EFAP[edit | edit source]
“He changes the past and invents context that doesn’t exist just to go after people” - Molah
Jack first crossed paths with EFAP with his critique of MauLer's reviews, titled "Long Critique Is Not Deep Critique," which mostly took a look at MauLer's shorter videos that are not labeled as critiques and were not intended to be deep, and argued that they required more explanation. Jack maintains that a critique being long is not inherently bad; in fact, some of his favorite reviews are long, it is simply what MauLer does with his videos' length where the issue arises. Despite this, he accuses MauLer of only making his content long so that people cannot criticize it, made fun of the stream responding to his video osimply for being long, and concluded his video by saying that he doesn't think that somebody can make content as long as MauLer's without it being needless. Jack's exact motives for disliking "Molah" and EFAP are unclear, but his promotion of Hbomberguy along with Dan Olson and Lindsay Ellis as alternatives suggests the motivation may be political. Jack said that the only argument he could think of for why people like MauLer's content, based off of some comments from people praising his videos for their length, is that them being long inherently makes them deep, failing to think of any other reason why one may like them. He accused MauLer of saying that Infinity War is objectively good, which he didn't, and tries to argue against that strawman by pointing out that MauLer has previously said Infinity War has plenty of flaws which would make it a 5 or 6 out of 10, ignoring the fact that MauLer says in his Infinity War video that the video was only meant to look at the positive, as a change of pace from his more negative content. Jack defended this conflation of MauLer's Rage/Praise series with his Critique series to Jay in the comments of his video by saying that the two series contain the exact same content anyway, leading one to wonder why he didn't just look at the Critique series from the get-go, instead leaving that to Taxxon, who just dismissed the first four hours of it as nothing but summary. Jack claimed MauLer's only criticism of Canto Bight was that it called animal cruelty and slavery bad and only offering the counter that Disney makes money, ignoring MauLer's points about how the means by which Rose and Finn free the animals would be ineffective, and the damage would affect the slave labor and the poor workers more than the rich people, something Finn should know given his past as a conscripted janitor. He defended his claim that MauLer's Infinity War video only had six minutes of actual critique from MauLer's examples of critique at other points in the video by saying he meant six minutes total and not just six minutes at the end, even though in his video he refers to them as "the last six minutes." He claimed MauLer looked at a feminist lens of critique to call female characters Mary Sues, ignoring that MauLer makes that point regardless of gender and had the same issue with Han in Solo, and implies he didn't like Shuri because she's black. Jack also employed flagrant use of strawmen, dare it be said, dogwhistling to haters of CinemaSins, citing scenes that weren't actually in the movie, and saying things are bad with no qualification, something he accused Molah of doing. Jack also attempted to aid his fellow video essayists by criticizing MauLer's choice to call Joseph Anderson a Massive and his critiques of Mark Brown. Before he posted the video, he asked Molah to provide opening narration for the intro, but MauLer declined, feeling as though that would give the false impression that he approved of it.
Collaboration with Taxxon[edit | edit source]
“I get why Molah and those who follow him are convinced that this is the same as a real, in-depth, nitty-gritty critique.”
Despite Jack's power, he saw it fit to bring in backup for this attack on EFAP, and brought Taxxon along to aid in the assault. However, in the end Taxxon was relatively kind and sincere, while Jack stayed on the offensive. Despite the conflicting tone and ideas, the two succeeded in creating the worst response to EFAP in history, and cemented the philosophy of "Long Man Bad."
A Double-Pronged Approach[edit | edit source]
"I'm reading through your Twitter, right, and it's fine for you to disagree, of course you're going to disagree with someone criticizing you, that's only natural, but it doesn't seem like you're really... it like, doesn't seem like you're really getting the points that are trying to be put across, is my impression of what you're tweeting... you're just kind of sniping at random little bits without looking at you know, the overall arguments being made... people are only gonna see this as an argument if they already agree with you."
While EFAP #22 (and some of #23) was live, Jack was sniping at the crew on Twitter with a multitude of inane statements. He tried to blame EFAP (or at least, "people like them") for harassment of Star Wars cast members, and also said that the two video series he conflated (one which strived to be as accurate as possible and the other which was meant to give some initial thoughts on the film in question) were actually, definitely exactly the same. He later made a second video response to Molah's philosophy which nobody cared about.
Powers and Abilities[edit | edit source]
“Psychoanalysis, postcolonialism, queer theory, Marxism…”
- DeadTweet - Jack can snipe at people from the safety of Twitter.
- Pronunciate - Jack’s pronunciation of Wokonduh is legendary and subverts your expectations.
- Strawman - he grows them by the thousands in his fields.
- Headache - he can make your brain sore, but it's not as strong as Diabeto.
- Evolved Criticism - is enlightened and knows that people's subconscious makes them think objectivity exists.
- Literary Genius - can create bizarre analogies about a pizza the size of a dinner table.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Jack's hair is way better than his arguments.
- He made a whole video on why the NPC meme is bad.
- Jack orchestrated many abuse campaigns in several countries including Australia and Germany (if you say this it’s just true)
- He considers schoolyard insults worse than lying about someone's character.
- He thinks that Sky High is about eugenics.