"Molah says the sad bits made him sad, the funny bits made him lol, and concludes that the film is objectively good because it’s good at elaborating on stuff from previous Marvel films. That’s a mark of objective quality by the way. Sucks if you wanted to enjoy it as its own movie!" ― Jack, about a video where MauLer never says the word objective
Jack Saint is a YouTube media analyst who usually looks at the more political implications of what he reviews. He is among the most powerful commanders of the Massives, with advanced video essayist skills, as well as several fields of strawmen under his command, he has proven to be a major adversary to EFAP. He has a noteworthy accent, and as such calls MauLer "Molah."
He is “the Farmer of Strawmen,” distributing those strawmen to Massives abroad so they can bolster their own points by attacking easy arguments. Unfortunately for him, he is defeated by them without him knowing it.
History[edit | edit source]
Campaign Against The Long[edit | edit source]
“He changes the past and invents context that doesn’t exist just to go after people” - Molah
Jack first crossed paths with EFAP with his critique of MauLer's reviews, titled "Long Critique Is Not Deep Critique," which mostly took a look at MauLer's shorter videos that are not labeled as critiques and were not intended to be deep, and argued that they required more explanation. Jack maintains that a critique being long is not inherently bad; in fact, some of his favorite reviews are long, it is simply what MauLer does with his videos' length where the issue arises. Despite this, he accuses MauLer of only making his content long so that people cannot criticize it, made fun of the stream responding to his video simply for being long, and concluded his video by saying that he doesn't think that somebody can make content as long as MauLer's without it being needless, as he thinks that several hour long analysis would be ”aimless, cluttered and obfuscate its point” inherently.
In reference to MauLer and Wolf criticizing Taxxon for showing basically none of Wolf's argument in her response to him, Jack claimed that this was Mauler accusing anyone who does not show every second of what they're responding to of committing an act of dishonesty.
thinks he knows maulers “methodological problems”, thinking his work as cinemasins format disguised as deep critique
“bloated Wikipedia article summary, interrupted very occasionally with a shallow observation about something that mauler does or does not like”, calls this "illusion of deep analysis" - contrary to Taxxon's description
MauLer just rolls his eyes at the film when he thinks its making no sense with occasional “this good” “this bad” with no reason why, “hell, if you do it enough, it’s just like a real analysis.” - He interpreted MauLer saying that good visuals cannot save bad writing as him saying visuals don’t matter at all, and lambasting others for liking them at all - mauler only vomits out content and is shocked to hear that people criticize it “I don’t serve you a pizza the size of a dinner table and then insult you for not appreciating the 19th slice” “and I don’t throw out the benefits of clarity and concision in making a point” - analogy that you taste potato in your meal and then say the whole meal is bad, like saying that the whole movie is bad because of one scene, but jack thinks that you can judge the cooks skill by the potato and the assume that he is overall bad chef
He claimed the first hour of MauLer's The Force Awakens critique, where he explains his process and counters criticisms of it, is “just Twitter arguments," when a conversation that happened on Twitter took up less than three minutes of that. Complains that the first hour, the introduction, wasn't about The Force Awakens. - In reference to the jokes about Taxxon's apperance peppered throughout EFAP 15, Jack characterized the whole stream as being nothing but hours of nonstop insults. - claims that they called her “autistic retard” - mauler and efap only mocks people that disagree with them - Sees that MauLer, Wolf and Rags “generally agree on movies” (not even agree entirely) and concludes from that not that they use the same standard or simply have similar tastes, but instead that they just circlejerk each other in their special club where they are the only ones that know what’s good and bad, thinking themselves better than others and they seek out people they disagree with “act like basic middle school bullies because they’ve decided they are right” - He accused MauLer of saying that Infinity War is objectively good, which he didn't, and tries to argue against that strawman by pointing out that MauLer has previously said Infinity War has plenty of flaws which would make it a 5 or 6 out of 10, ignoring the fact that MauLer says in his Infinity War video that the video was only meant to look at the positives, as a change of pace from his typically more negative content.
Jack's exact motives for disliking "Molah" and EFAP are unclear, but his promotion of Hbomberguy along with Dan Olson and Lindsay Ellis as alternatives suggests the motivation may be political. Jack said that he didn’t found anything good in Maulers content, so he presumes the only reason why people like MauLer's content, based off of some comments from people praising his videos for their length, is that them being long inherently makes them deep, failing to think of any other reason why one may like them.
Jack defended this conflation of MauLer's Rage/Praise series with his Critique series to Jay in the comments of his video by saying that the two series contain the exact same content anyway, leading one to wonder why he didn't just look at the Critique series from the get-go, instead leaving that to Taxxon, who just dismissed the first four hours of it as nothing but summary, and actually liked the last hour of it. Jack claimed MauLer's only criticism of Canto Bight was that it called animal cruelty and slavery bad and only offering the counter that Disney makes money, ignoring MauLer's points about how the means by which Rose and Finn free the animals would be ineffective, and the damage would affect the slave labor and the poor workers more than the rich people, something Finn should know given his past as a conscripted janitor. He defended his claim that MauLer's Infinity War video only had six minutes of actual critique from MauLer's examples of critique at other points in the video by saying he meant six minutes total and not just six minutes at the end, even though in his video he refers to them as "the last six minutes."
He accused MauLer of using "objectivity" to actually just mean what he does and doesn't like, validating his own feelings about a movie and pass it off as the only correct way to feel, lording it over others and spreading his view as the only valid one, avoiding bringing up a “wider context which to view the film,” like from a Marxist or post-colonialist perspective, then accused him of only looking at a feminist lens of critique to call female characters Mary Sues, ignoring that MauLer makes that point regardless of gender and had the same issue with Han in ''Solo'', and implied he didn't like Shuri because she's black.
Jack criticized MauLer questioning why Solo skips over any of Han learning the skills he is known for but taking the time to tell us how he got the name "Solo" because its “unnecessary exposition bad>:(", “lack of exposition bad>:(” as if there is no difference in importance between an origin story showing how a very skilled character became so skilled, and finding out why they have a last name.
Jack also employed flagrant use of strawmen, dare it be said, dogwhistling to haters of CinemaSins, citing scenes that weren't actually in the movie, and saying things are bad with no qualification (or using very vague descriptions like "tactile" or "unique energy" without explaining what he means by them), things that he accused Molah of doing. Jack also attempted to aid his fellow video essayists by accusing MauLer of taking back his apology for calling Joseph Anderson a Massive (when MauLer was simply clarifying what he was apologizing for, not withdrawing it), and his critiques of Mark Brown.
He would often use words without explaining what he means by them, like "tactile" or "unique energy", while criticizing MauLer for explaining himself - For some reason he brought up MauLer's Dark Souls critique, even though they don’t actually talk about it
also mauler has forgotten that ”perspectives are perspectives, even if they are based on the same objective thing”
Before he posted this video, he asked Molah to provide opening narration for the intro, but MauLer declined, feeling as though that would give the false impression that he approved of it.
Collaboration with Taxxon[edit | edit source]
“I get why Molah and those who follow him are convinced that this is the same as a real, in-depth, nitty-gritty critique.”
Despite Jack's vast intellectual powers, he saw it fit to bring in backup for this attack on EFAP, and brought Taxxon along to aid in the assault. However, in the end Taxxon was relatively kind and sincere, while Jack stayed on the offensive. Despite the conflicting tone and ideas, the two succeeded in creating the worst response to EFAP in history, and cemented the philosophy of "Long Man Bad."
A Double-Pronged Approach[edit | edit source]
"I'm reading through your Twitter, right, and it's fine for you to disagree, of course you're going to disagree with someone criticizing you, that's only natural, but it doesn't seem like you're really... it like, doesn't seem like you're really getting the points that are trying to be put across, is my impression of what you're tweeting... you're just kind of sniping at random little bits without looking at you know, the overall arguments being made... people are only gonna see this as an argument if they already agree with you." - Jay
While EFAP 22 (and some of 23) was live, Jack was sniping at the crew on Twitter with a multitude of inane statements. He tried to blame EFAP (or at least, "people like them") for harassment of Star Wars cast members, and also said that the two video series he conflated (one which strived to be as accurate as possible and the other which was meant to give some initial thoughts on the film in question) were actually, definitely exactly the same. He later made a second video response to Molah's philosophy which nobody cared about.
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
He doesn’t think he misrepresented EFAP crews views and thinks that people like wolf should be “avoided at all costs” after he calls Jack and (at the time) Eric"subhuman" for being pair of scumbags that say EFAP members don’t make arguments and majority of their videos can be skipped if you’ve seen the movie they talk about.
Jack also says that EFAP Crew mebers are same ilk as those that harassed star wars crew in twitter.
Paints EFAP's gripe with him as that Jack “misrepresented their opinions about films” and thinks himself as adult side of the conflict for not using playground insult’s.
robot head talked how it would have been great if the actors of Han solo and Luke would have have scene together, but it was taken away from both the characters and actors, saying that its fan-service, something the franchise has done. Jack comments that it wouldn’t be meaningful as its “lore over substance”
Powers and Abilities[edit | edit source]
“Psychoanalysis, postcolonialism, queer theory, Marxism…”
- DeadTweet - Jack can snipe at people from the safety of Twitter.
- Pronunciate - Jack’s pronunciation of Wokonduh is legendary and subverts your expectations.
- Strawman - he grows them by the thousands in his fields.
- Headache - he can make your brain sore, but it's not as strong as Diabeto.
- Evolved Criticism - is enlightened and knows that people's subconscious makes them think objectivity exists.
- Literary Genius - can create bizarre analogies about a pizza the size of a dinner table.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Jack's hair is way better than his arguments.
- He made a whole video on why the NPC meme is bad.
- has made videos where he was “super rambly, with way too much summary fluff and little distinction between personal nitpick and legitimate argument”, but is trying to be better, which mauler doesn’t do. Jack is evolved as a critic
- when jack sleeps, he sees snake necked and armed creature, the longoid, who just yells “LONGMAN!!!!!!”
- thinks mauler sometimes “stumples upon good points”
- thinks maulers arguments don’t have “real thrush”
- thinks that character making illogical things isn’t bad, as that character would do the stupid thing
- thinks mauler makes up plotholes
- character literally shoot herself in the foot, Jack thinks mauler has something sexist to say about it,
- Jack orchestrated many abuse campaigns in several countries including Australia and Germany (if you say this it’s just true)
- He considers schoolyard insults worse than lying about someone's character.
- probably only cares about that because its easy way to avoid having to talk to EFAP and can just say that he doesent want to talk to people tah just insult him
- He thinks that Sky High is fascist and about eugenics.
- doesn’t think The Room is objectively bad movie
- killed wolf and rags
- Their opinion on EFAP trio as said by Jay “we all suck, but they suck more”. Metaphorically Jack probably could think that person who killed more people should be arrested, not the person that was caught killing one person.
- Made a half hour long video of why he doesn’t like the NPC meme
- thinks mauler just phones in the infinity war video
- thinks mauler only summaries plots just to make things more objective, as he can put more facts in
- thinks that mauler black panther video and the like are just cinemasins videos, where he doesn’t explain why they are bad or don’t make sense, even though that exactly what he does
- why do most technologically advance society use spears “sincerely, Why does anyone use anything?”
- thinks that mauler would see “why is mjolnier so small” a plothole
- thinks all maulers plotholes are actually explained in the movies
- thinks That since cities have modern and old architecture somehow counters how wokonda has buildings with straw Hutson top
- what do they want the strongest fighter to be the leader instead of the smartest? Jack thinks that maybe they don’t see the intelligence the same way and being smart doesn’t make you objectively better leader
- pronounces Wakanda as Wokonda
- In Wolfs opinnion, both are pathetic subhuman, worse than everyone from the past 21 videos. Quinton is 3rd worst compare to jack and Taxxon
Quotes[edit | edit source]
“Fallout 76's artificiality may break immersion in one respect but on a tactile level make it easier to stay focus on the gameplay. he might explain how mechanics and element borrowed from Elder Scrolls make the game arguably more enjoyable play experience, but impact and the unique energy of the fallout game, thus damage it in other ways” explaining how one of people whose video he watches would make their critique mire deep
“rarely with any thrust to his argument, rarely elaborated on, as he sacrifices depth for breath and as you hurtle towards the conclusion after a 2-to-5-hour long rant, you know little more about the film than what happens in it, with a few errors, and whether some guy in the internet personally enjoyed it, Mauler and his fans of course objecting to this assessment, as they belief he digs into “something more”."
"Some defenders of Maulers style of analysis assert that he uses multiple lenses of critical analysis to see the work from as many sides as possible and that’s what justifies this format. Nope. You could maybe argue Mauler briefly touches feminist aspect of a work, mostly just to accuse female character being Mary Sues, but for much else…. Psychoanalysis, post-colonialism, quer theory, Marxism. Marvel at Mauler spending 5 minutes of his lats jedi analysis saying ”I don’t like to get political, but film thinks war-profiteering bad and child slavery bad and that is bad because Disney makes money”
“mauler confuses well founded argument for objective one”
“I don’t know how mauler will take this video, whenever it might spark introspection on how he feel his most effectively putting his point across with this increasingly bloated format or if he’ll double down, insists I’m trying to police him by trying to offer my own perspective”