“Your chicken will not be safe. Your pizza will not be safe. Your gingerbread houses will not be safe. They are mine to control.”[1]

MovieBob, real name Bob Chipman, also known by his villainous alter ego of Diabeto[1], is the evil mastermind of the EFAP series pulling all the strings and sugar behind the scenes. Alongside Goliath and Captain Marvel, he is one of the main antagonists.

History[edit | edit source]

"Planet Earth, you'd better hope I don't run out of bad movies to take this all out on."[2]

As a kid, he was bullied, even though he wasn't gay or black. In fact, it was often the gay and black kids who bullied him. The bullying is what inspired him to develop his invincible adipose armor and become an evil mastermind. According to him, society suppressed his genius because he was superior, and they feared that he would surpass all their pathetic achievements. Since those times, he has watched bad films constantly to refine his rage in preparation for the day when he rules Earth with an iron fist and a super-sized soda. After all, about 75% of Earth always commit racisms, because well, racism, and deserve to suffer pain.[2] He was also gifted a collection of girls' literature by an older cousin, which he believed gave him an insight into the female brain.

Foreshadowing[edit | edit source]

When differentiating YouTube reviewers from "traditional" reviewers in EFAP 2, Patrick Willems cited Bob Chipman as an exception, as he is basically a traditional reviewer who turns his written reviews into videos. The boys were baffled that anyone would use MovieBob as a positive example of anything.

Humble Introductions[edit | edit source]

Bob stepped out of the shadows early on in the EFAP lore in EFAP 6, to bolster the viewpoint pushed by the widely-criticized "Plot Holes Don't Matter" video made by his ally Patrick Willems. Bob's one-off appearance in Season 1 foreshadowed his much deeper involvement in the Lore that would be unveiled much later on.

Defending the Sacred Cow, with the Power of the Metanarrative[edit | edit source]

EFAP 49 saw a long-awaited return to Bob with his more direct defense of The Last Jedi. MauLer, Al, and Fortea had previously looked at this video back during the days of the Screen Tear Podcast, but it was time to make it known to EFAP. Bob used the dark reality-defying power of the Metanarrative to paint The Last Jedi as actually being a love letter to Star Wars.

The Joker War[edit | edit source]

Bob against his makeshift greenscreen, presumably painted by Bob himself

MovieBob's next big move was to discredit the film that those on the wrong side of history were praising: Joker. EFAP 57 had MauLer, Rags, Drinker, Weekend Warrior, and Doomcock witness Bob's first Joker review, an eight and a half-minute video with about two minutes of intro, made so long by the oddly-long title card following a prologue comedy skit, which the gang noticed took place in front of a wall, door, door handle, and light switch that were painted entirely green, in an apparent attempt to turn them into a greenscreen. Bob's jack-o'-lantern shirt led to a brief disagreement between Rags and Weekend over wearing blazers with T-shirts, foreshadowing their later book look argument in EFAP 104. Despite not wanting to make this video since Joker will be forgotten in two weeks, Bob went on to describe Joker as an empty, unoriginal mashup of about twenty other movies and comic panels comparable to a T-shirt of the Scarface poster with Vegeta on it, fast-forwarding through the plot synopsis that would actually hold some of the substance he said it lacked and not saying what elements it took from those media, leading the gang to question if it is even a ripoff at all if it draws from so many inspirations. Bob's skimming over the content of Joker was in stark contrast to his Last Jedi analysis, which squeezed as much deeper meaning as possible out of it. Even Bob could not deny that Joaquin Pheonix' performance was good, however. He ended his review by saying Joker had nothing much to say but would not shut up, an ironic accusation coming from him. Drinker theorized that Bob was Mundane Matt ten years in the future.

Disavowment of EFAP[edit | edit source]

Bob was asked on Twitter whether he would ever go on EFAP, and he likened a conversation with them to a dead tree with termites in it, going on to say he would never because he does not want to legitimize the heinous comments they made about one Jenny Nicholson.

The Joker War Continues and the Unveiling of Diabeto[edit | edit source]

A spherical Bob floats inside a gelatinous cube in front of his computer, saying "you fools"

MovieBob in a gelatinous cube, by the artist Commissioner Mimic

Just over two weeks after his first Joker video, Bob ended up making a second video about the movie he said everyone would forget about in two weeks, and so the boys, ThatStarWarsGirl, and JLongbone came together in EFAP 61 to hear Bob ask, "Is Joker Actually 'About' Anything?" Before the video started, Wolf theorized that Bob lived inside of a gelatinous cube, and Bob's choice of intro music gave away Bob's alter ego of Detective Joe "Dick" Hamhock. Of course, Detective Hamhock himself had his own alter ego, and after Wolf commented that a diabetic superhero would be a victory for diversity, MauLer pieced together that he was actually the supervillain Diabeto, the man who commands all sugar. Bob's claim that Joker was released without any competition led them to look up films released at the same time, one of which being Abominable, which led to talking about the abundance of yeti/sasquatch movies in recent years, including Chill Out, Scooby Doo!, which led to a discussion of which Hex Girl everyone would bang, which was all much more interesting than what Bob was saying. Chat brought up the time one of the Hex Girls tried to get with Scooby Doo when he was turned into a human, and JLongbone's description of Human Scooby as looking like a Jewish penis led to Chat dubbing him Scooby Jew - this was also far more interesting than what Bob was saying. Bob claimed that nobody should be surprised that a movie about a popular comic book character making a billion dollars, despite having previously celebrated Captain Marvel's billion dollar box office when it came out between two Avengers films. Bob countered the idea that negative press claiming the movie potentially causing shootings was drummed up by left-wing journalists by pointing out that left-wing activist Michael Moore (complete with Team America charicature), then

Consooming What None Else Dare Consoom[edit | edit source]

On EFAP 67, Bob, Consoomer that he is, stepped up to the plate to defend a piece of media that not even the other Massives could defend - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, assuring everyone that the movie is "fine."

MovieBob or a Nazi?[edit | edit source]

During EFAP 73, MauLer, Rags, Jay, Metal, and Al took a quiz where the goal was to determine whether a given quote came from MovieBob or from a Nazi. It was very difficult.

The MovieBob Challenge[edit | edit source]

The Tweet that started it all

MovieBob quote-tweeted a viral tweet of a photo of four McDonalds double cheeseburgers, two large fries, 20 McNuggets, and four large sodas with the caption, "Somebody offers you $3,500 to finish everything on this tray in 90 minutes. Could/would you do it?" and described the pictured meal as "a fairly small amount of McDonalds for an average-sized person," to the bewilderment of average, below-average, and above-average-sized people across the globe. The challenge outlined in the original Tweet was dubbed The MovieBob Challenge, and both That Star Wars Girl and MetalCommander tried and failed to complete it.

Endorsement of Magneto[edit | edit source]

MauLer, Rags, PSA Sitch, and Adam Friended received a very telling insight into Bob's worldview in EFAP 80 when they looked at an old video of his titled "Magneto Was Right." This is where the bulk of their understanding of Bob's youth comes from.

Halloween Theft at the Hands of Donald Trump[edit | edit source]

In October 2020, MovieBob, firm believer in the idea that any white man can get a job by just putting on a tie, took to Twitter to lament how President Donald Trump stole his summer, his Halloween, and four years of his happiness, and that the people who helped him steal the presidency (this was written before claiming that a presidential election was stolen was deemed incitement of violence) ruined his career years before, from which is he only just now recovering.

Let go by The Escapist[edit | edit source]

TBA

Lindsay Ellis MovieBob Interaction.jpg

Disavowment by Lindsay Ellis[edit | edit source]

On Twitter, Lindsay Ellis responded in agreement to a tweet saying it is not scandalous for peers to be friends with each other and interact privately. Bob added onto this sentiment by posting a selfie of him and Lindsay at a convention together. Ellis, not wanting it to appear that she supported Bob's toxicity, told Bob that taking a selfie at a convention years ago does not constitute friendship, and that her ignoring his emails and softblocking him six times should have tipped him off to take the hint. Bob ended up privating his account for a short time afterward.

A Young Bob Discovers Racism 2[edit | edit source]

"Proud to be an American, prouder to be an American geek"

Bobo the Caffinated [sic] Chipmunk, who speaks on Bob's behalf when Bob is unable

Bob's portrayal of the end goal of reading Judy Blume, which sparked a conversation on cuckoldry and voyeurism.

"Let me explain something about white people..."

In EFAP 111, the gang took a look back at a younger Bob, who fittingly sounded exactly like his current self but with a higher voice. Bob recounted the controversy surrounding Resident Evil 5 having the player character kill African zombies in Africa, as opposed to the previous Resident Evil games, which only allowed you to kill non-African zombies outside of Africa. He went on to accuse the game of only including "affirmative-action hire" Sheva Alomar to hide their racism, and further criticized them for having a tribal-looking two-piece outfit as an unlockable outfit for her as even more racist. Bob attributed these transgressions to something even worse than racism (since racism could be unlearned), but then interjected with a chipmunk representative of himself telling an anecdote about how his cousin gave him girls' books like those by Judy Blume when he was a child, but assured the audience that it was actually manly because reading books made for a female audience could allow one to understand the female brain. He accompanied this claim with his own stick figure drawings of himself (presumably as a child or teenager) performing various sex acts, the last of which being him filming two women having sex with each other. The gang wondered aloud whether this counted as cuckoldry, but concluded that it was actually just voyeurism, and the discussion they had on sexual terminology was far more interesting than whatever Bob was saying. Bob finally went back to revealing what it was that he considered even worse than racism: unconscious racism. According to him, Capcom (a Japanese company) had fallen into the trap that many white people fall into of assuming that white people are the default race. The gang also deduced that Bob is the evil alternate universe version of a good Bob, which is why he has a goatee.

Physical Appearance[edit | edit source]

Bob is well known for his massive size. In contrast with MauLer's length, MovieBob is large in every dimension, forming an almost spherical man. Despite this physical massivity, Bob also has a somewhat gaunt looking face. Bob also has very short black hair and some sort of facial hair, and regularly sports either sunglasses or regular eyeglasses. When Bob is operating under his villainous alter ego of Diabeto, he dons a costume that resembles the Marvel Comics character Magneto, though sometimes he has to put a birthday cake on his head in place of an actual helmet.

Powers and Abilities[edit | edit source]

"You've been drinking a lot of soda pop, haven't you?"[1]

  • Verbal Superspeed - Diabeto speaks his words so fast that he causes extreme headache[1]
  • Metanarrative - Through the power of the Metanarrative, Bob can make any movie mean any thing, but only if he deems it worthy
  • Diabeatdown - he can use his titanic weight as a weapon[1]
  • Sugar control - as Diabeto, he can control sugar in everything[1]
  • Glucosebending - as Diabeto, he can draw sugar straight out of people's blood.[1]

Victories[edit | edit source]

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Patrick Willems is one of the few other Massives to have openly expressed positive opinions of him.
  • He is rumored to be Quinton's father.
  • He is the only being so far to be able to defeat Wolf.
  • This is what a feminist looks like.
  • He has the Big Gay.
  • He cooks chicken with Mountain Dew.
  • As Diabeto, he has the highest kill count on EFAP.[2]
  • His videos simply never change; they've always been the same caliber of argument with the same production value.[2]

Quotes[edit | edit source]

  • "Oooh boy, this is nooot working... oooh no, oh boy" - EFAP 57
  • "Well shit." - EFAP 57
  • "If Joker does have a coherent thematic or moral arc to call its own- it doesn't but if it did- it would boil down to Fleck's journey of self-actualization through realizing that while society can be tough, the real cause of your problems is probably a woman" - EFAP 57
  • "I'll never forgive the troglodytes who stole the future I EARNED to prolong their worthless existence." - Twitter, EFAP 61

References[edit | edit source]

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