Orphans are children who have no parents and are therefore unloved by everyone. They are common targets for evil beings such as Goliath and Captain Marvel.

Proof that orphans are unloved[edit | edit source]

Parents love their children because they can smell their genes in the child's blood.[1] They can do this because a child's blood is owned by its parents. If a child has no parents, they have to own it themselves.[2] As the great Doggo Raggins once said, “The blood is intrinsically fused with the emotional concept of disappointment and sadness. It gives it more power. It’s like the blood of a serial killer.”[1] Simply put, nobody loves orphans because their blood is sad.

Effects of being an orphan[edit | edit source]

Orphanhood can lead to a severe loss of bone density, but this can be avoided by drinking rhino milk or by absorbing it from other Orphans. An orphan who maintains their bone density becomes an Alpha Orphan, who all the others are afraid of. Keep in mind that to be an orphan, your parents have to actually be dead. It doesn't count if they're just absent.[2]

Known Orphans[edit | edit source]

  • Killmonger (wanted to kill children as they get love and he can't)
  • Rose Tico (abandoned bunch of slave kids)
  • Broom Boy and other slaves (in the future, they will be the next Sith Order)
  • Batman

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Since Tonald emerged from the primordial universe instead of being born, he might technically be an orphan. If so, this disproves that they can't be loved.
  • The Don is so great that he even loves the orphans with the lowest bone density.
  • Orphans are the best represented minority in media.[2]
  • You can become transorphan by surgically removing your parents.[2]

References[edit | edit source]

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