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"The giant alien cow thing that Luke milks is one of my favorite additions to this whole series, and if you don't like it, you have boring tastes and I don't want to be friends with you.[1]"

Patrick "Patrick (H) Willems" Willems is a YouTube video essayist. He specializes in policing people's feelings about movies and his crusade aimed at making sure nobody has anything but positive feelings toward The Last Jedi has made him PAFE's head propagandist. He is very intelligent, as he has a film degree and is therefore better than inferior YouTubers who don't. He's the only member of PAFE who publicly supports MovieBob.[2]

Patrick thinks that if the movie is intended for children it shouldn’t be criticized seriously, while singing high praises for it himself. He essentially devalues the movie he thinks so highly of by saying it's for kids and shouldn’t be taken seriously, and doesn’t consider that the murder, death, and dismemberment the franchise contains might make it unsuitable for the very children he claims it was created for.

His Attack on Logic[]

"If people acted totally logically all the time, no one would be acting human.[2]"

Since Patrick is a fervent defender of The Last Jedi and The Last Jedi's greatest enemy is logic, it became imperative for him to discredit the very idea of logic - to look at things logically is to watch movies wrong. He has claimed that logical inconsistencies are "less than inconsequential" because they're not "genuine flaws" - rather than focus on fake problems like plotholes ( “plot hole is point in which story breaks a previously established rule about its universe, basically story contradicts itself.”), we should focus on real problems like plot contrivances. The criticism of inconsistent characters is invalid criticism (to Patrick) as well, because real people aren't logical because that would be less than human, and if they were rational the movie wouldn't happen. If you try to judge a film objectively, that means you're watching movies wrong because if something can be objectively judged, it has no value.[2]


What Plot Holes Are Not by Patrick[]

Something that happens off screen: Patrick thinks this is just montage, where characters move from point A to point B, but he doesn’t think that them being physically incapable of moving to point B is a plothole, like in The Dark Knight Rises. Bruce Wayne, with no money, being able to travel back to Gotham from middle of nowhere to him is not a plot hole. He sees people who think this is plothole as “not reasonably intelligent.”

”If movies showed every single second that happened during span of the story, they would be “40 hours long and really f***ing boring.””

When character does something you wouldn’t do: Insanity defense, where people do some stuff with no logic sometimes. Patrick believes that acting logical is opposing acting human. Humans acting logically 100% of the time wouldn’t be human. To him movies with logic would lack conflict, lack drama and be “really fucking boring.”

"Movies are for the most part about human beings, or at least characters that think and act like human beings, and you know what human beings are not? Logical. People are impulsive, they make choices based on emotion not everyone thinks exactly the same, but also people make mistakes”

A Plot Contrivance: ”Some of these are actually valid" , this is valid, but not a plot hole to him. Who knows why he wanted to say it's valid criticism, since his metric is so skewed.

Something that is explained in the movie: 50% of the plotholes he sees people talking about are just something that is shown/explained in the movie “But if you are too busy life tweeting about plot holes, you can miss some stuff”.

People are going to be angry, even though he's just sharing his opinion on a movie he likes, while also spewing venom and posting videos where he berates people.

“Plot holes used to be a thing that only existed in super nerdy movie conversations”, but now they are pervasive, “spreading” through online conversations (part to movies being worse and internet connectivity).

Thinks that acid would go on forever and not dissipate (when accidents happen, scientist need to contact firemen to secure the earth’s core from the acid, one drop could go to the earth’s core, according to acid response theory).

Starts a video by pretending to read.

Thinks that people see him having sunglasses indoor as plot holes and being inside in one shot and outside in another.

Batman versus Superman is not bad because of the plotholes, but because characters are static and don’t learn anything.

Why people in 90s didn’t care about plotholes? Internet, where millennials repeat words said by stupid people who concentrate on nitpicks. no ones' to blame, but people like CinemaSins are to blame.

Video wouldn’t be possible without zenhouser.

He refers to film critics as “people who regularly review movies, not video essayist”, not seeing himself as critic as he only makes criticism and has not done review before.

His shocked that most of his YouTube fanbase sees youtubers as critics and don’t follow “traditional reviews” written on newspapers or blogs, which concerns him

Purpose of film criticism is 1. to guide as about what movies to see, letting us know if they are worth seeing 2. they should also advise people how to think about what they saw in the movie and 2nd is mostly overlooked

critic should have deep knowledge of cinema, its history and how it works. critics should deepen our understanding of the movie, giving us things to think about that we wouldn’t have noticed or considered. this is problem with most of YouTube film critics, they’re prominently straight white males in their 20s or early 30s and I find their reviews to be pretty shallow, they tell you that the acting was great or the jokes didn’t all land or I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, but they hardly ever dig any deeper, but clearly a lot of people are cool with that and I’m not saying that you are wrong to enjoy them, the traditional viewer of film critics is older people like Roger Ebert, who are film experts, like authorities of films.

Now YouTube democratized criticism and people want critics that they can see as friend, some with similar tastes and values, people that say “yeah, it’s awesome ” and “no, it sucks”

true critic needs to have credentials while youtubers it enough they seen the film five times, something he acknowledges he did too

doesn’t count movie bob among YouTube critics as he first writes the traditional review then turns it video

he of course uses determine what movies he sees, has his own list of critics he respects and whose opinions he bases his film views

people don’t want their opinions just validated by the critics

critics should encourage critical thinking, consider the local scene and then beyond the weekend fanboy specials, be weatherman on social trends, bring in larger context, teach, inform, amuse, inspire, be outraged, be heartened

YouTube critics tend to offer viewers own perspective back to them

he wants to read critics that know their shit and whose opinions he agrees with and who have education on films and have real understand how criticism works

movies are visual and aural artforms, not about plot characterization and theme. analytical writing of movies should center around discussing those three things. it should also devote little time to discussing lighting, composition, cutting, decor, rhythm and mod of the piece, otherwise it just book reports about movies, a literally criticism without visual media, only half of the potential, doing nothing to help viewer understand how work evokes feelings as they watch the piece. you don’t have to have made film, but you should know about the making process

you should read perspective different of your own, straight white males peoples should read reviews by women, by people of color, people who know more than you as otherwise they wont learn much from films. also read review of people you disagree with

before seeing the movie he skims critics reactions in twitter (those he trusts), if majority likes them, he goes to see the movie, then goes to rotten tomato’s and looks at people he likes and reads the reviews

Real Critics[]

"With a movie like Black Panther, a review by a twenty-five-year-old white guy on YouTube is probably not going to have much to offer.[1]"

epic spacewizard-brained take

Patrick hates CinemaSins because they serve the evil website Cracked, who invented plot holes in 2008. He will frequently compare people he dislikes to them. The opposite of CinemaSins is real critics, like the ones at Rotten Tomatoes who are educated enough to tell you what to think and are impossible to bribe. Patrick also likes "Traditional Reviewers" who write their reviews down instead of make YouTube videos, but he counts Bob Chipman.[2] among their ranks because Bob makes written reviews first and turns them into YouTube videos later. He also promoted Just Write in exchange for a shout-out on JW's channel.[1]

To offer his take on film critics:

  1. "Critics are not bought or bribed, Disney does not pay of critics to trash DC movies, its not like bad reviews hurt Suicide Squad's Box office, so why would studios waste money on that? I mean sure, they would like a good reviews because it helps with marketing, but no critics are actually being paid off by studios. That’s nonsense."
  2. "Critics are not amorphous entity that all just conspires together with one single opinion. So when someone complains about “The Critics”, they really mean hundreds of individual people with their own unique opinions."
  3. "Critics do not hate everything. They have to watch every movie that comes out, so you genuinely have to love movies if you wanna do that job. Critics are not Lindsay Duncan from Birdman, cruelly determined to take down something that they haven’t even seen."

In conclusion, critics are not evil, or corrupt or single minded beings.

not saying that you should take it seriously, but do not get too angry about it, sees those angry people as inferior, tells the negative side to calm down but most like doesn’t say calm down, its kids movie to those that love a movie to extreme

hates how he has to say that the movie is for children before stating his explanation for how great the last jedi is

Force Awakens had to do three thing, “it had to feel like star wars again, it had to introduce new characters that we wanted to follow to future movie and it had to bridge the 30 year gap in the story, it did ridiculously well at the first two and with the 3rd, it did okay “

we don’t need entire movie to explain snoke, we also don’t need to know things like the political structure or what destroying 5 republic planet means, as the film makers wanted to go back to more “familiar dynamic”, where you don’t know anything about the evil overlord ruling that bad faction, like we didn’t know about Palpatine’s backstory in the OT, just that his evil

so last jedi added more stuff to mythos, which means that the movie is good in Patrick’s opinion

has had beef with original trilogy, since Leia doesn’t get closure with her father and doesn’t show much flashy force powers, yoda says there is another, but she doesn’t get to do anything. seeing her Marry Poppins thrilled him, since she was using force and not just “trapped in amber for 30 years”

jedis suck and their rules of not being emotional is elitist and not healthy, something that no one has addressed before

sees what happen to jedi order in prequals and sequels as same thing

thinks that Luke thinks that jedis don’t work and should end

last jedi is about moving on from the past, force awakens treaded the same waters while last jedi wants to move forward, not about killing or burning the past as some people think

thinks that character arcs are immaculately covered in just writes “great video”, as movie beautifully weaves arcs for the main characters

doesn’t talk to people he has no respect for, said on twitter

how does his mother not beat him, asked chat

thinks kylois best new character since yoda and dexter

people miss the theme because they obsess over things like how forcefields should work

fins arc is the best, and him defeating phasma is his favorite moment

read lot of comments of why people don’t like luke being hermit who wants to die, thinks people wanted luke pull star destroyers out of space. “having luke be ultra-powerful paragon of goodness would be pretty boring”

thinks rey is complicated as she doesn’t have any idea of what to do with herself and keeps running to different people, hoping that thye guide her and kylo want her in his side.  Patrick thinks its good that rey might accept klos proposal to join the dark side and that’s mark of good story telling

everything in throne room fight rules so hard

calls Christopher Nolan sourpuss and his movies tone “stoic dour” “lighten up”, says patric

watching last jedi he was hit by a though that ” for the first time I could see the story continuing for decades to come”

people will consider the eras by who piloted the millennium falcon

people shaping starwars universe could be anyone or come from anywhere and story can g anywhere

doesn’t care who the broom kid is, only that he has “hope and determination in his eyes”

likes the way dj wears boots around his neck

red in the krate looks like the planets bleeding

What Do We Want From a Star Wars Movie?[]

His been thinking lot about star wars as the Last Jedi was critical and commercial success, despite the haters. As he skim trough the negative comments, he constantly founds line "Its okay movie, but a bad star wars movie", which makes him wonder about what makes a good star wars movie and what would people want from it.

During the video he goes to an journey to find out the answer, finding box-set of the original trilogy on the beach sand, looking expanded universe books in the shelves of a bookstore, walking in park, walking under a bridge, wandering in woods, going to a train and the going back home.

during this, he spends most of the time explaining history of the star wars while being vague about what people want from star wars, besides it to "feel like star wars", using 3 of the 5 parts , half of the video in unless summary that does nothing to help the viewer.

Part 1, The Old Days[]

His ranking:

  1. Empire Strikes Back
  2. New Hope
  3. Last Jedi
  4. Return of the Jedi
  5. Force Awakens
  6. Rogue One
  7. Phantom Menace
  8. Attack of the Clones
  9. Revenge of the Sith

Star wars is more complicated than other movies, as easy answer for what w want from movies is that them to be good. Star wars is a phenomenon, as its only big movie franchise that was not a adaptation and so did not have a safety net. Most people that went to see Marvel or Harry potter had either read some of the source material. With Star Wars, you don't know whats going to happen in the movies, unlike Marvel or harry potter and unlike most blockbuster franchises, it has been continuous series that has not been rebooted.

When the first film was released, there was no canon or lore books. When people saw the New hope first time, then only wanted more of the starwars and for the last movie they wanted more star wars and an ending. They got it and everyone loved it (*Generalization)

Part 2, The Long Gap[]

People just consumed the franchise with no hype or anticipation for the future. the movies simply were. then came the expanded universe, books on characters and lore. They begin to believe they could learn all the rules and know everything.

Two main things about the prequels, they were all backstory and they didn't feel the same, as people were relatable and world felt lived in, but in prequels characters were higher up (monks and politicians) that spoke overly formal way and world was clean and artificial with too much CGI. The feeling was gone. There were elements of the old, but it didn't feel the same.

Part 3, The New Era[]

Disney bought the franchise and decided to me Sequels with the idea to make it like the originals and get them to feel like Star Wars. Prequel ideas were reversed: People talked like normal people and were "relatable" and used the lived in environment and real actors in alien suits. Things were similar to original but with different characters.

Last Jedi still feel like a classic star wars movie to him. Instead of following use story beats is pusses the story to uncharted territory.

Part 4, The Question[]

Now that he caught up the viewer, what is the answer and where has he been going with the talking?

He doesent think that divide with Sequels is not just haters having bigger demands. First the Original trilogy set up the stage, the expanded universe added backstory, strict rules to universe and expectation for the future, prequels made fan think they knew better than the creators and sequels made expectations on what the fans wanted to see.

Fan became experts and community set up bars to who knew the best how to handle the franchise. Sequels became prize they felt they earned as fans and they went to the movies with checklist of things that they wanted to see based on dogmatic perception of the rules they made.

Haters hate because the sequels don't connect to the "trivia" they have learned. They don't like new force skill or Reys power growth or Leias ability to use force. They don't like that old characters have changed as they are not in the same place as we left them and they don't like new characters as they are new. They just want to wookipedia page instead of a story, they want to validation for their knowledge of trivia.

The want Vader Hallway scene from Rogue one, but that scene is empty and ads nothing to the story. that scene is just same as HD remake of PS1 game, something you had, but shinier.

New hope has the same problems as sequels, like Luke going from farm boy to death star destroying rebel in a day and why was Obi-Wan the only hope as Leia never met him, in Empire they just travel around or stay in a swamp, are directed to master that turns out to be a silly muppet, new powers are shown with no explanation, Return of the Jedi beginning has nothing impactful to happen besides getting Han back, there is lot of time spend to hi-jinx with ewoks and there is lot of silly comedy in the original trilogy.

Thinks he could make the video a fifteen minute screen shot of tweet talking about how lucky its that people are exposed to good movies when they are young.

Claims there is no wrong way to watch movies and that people are looking something from sequels that they can get out of them, the feeling they can't get (but he can get it from the sequels). Only way you would like the sequels if you saw them as a kid, when you had not notion of the series

Part 5, Conclusion[]

People think their opinion is more valid because they know more of the series.

Calls Rose "Strong female protagonist"

He Mark Browns the whole point of the video, saying "Its question worth asking ourselves"

Reason people fell in love with the franchise is the story and even if you don't like it, its going to keep on going

The series needs to give us things we have not seen before.

He loved he Last Jedi because it gave him what he wanted and what he didn't want, bringing new future potential.

There is going to be someone that likes the future film

What Do We Want From a Star Wars Movie? (2020)[]

The Rise of Skywalker let him down. Went down the path he could not follow.

Things he will miss about Star Wars: The William score, that makes him always feel like the movie is going to be good, new puppet alien that characters act like its normal thing in the universe, wookie sound, jump to light-speed visual, other sound effects (they are best cinema sounds)

He felt optimistic and happy about the series with the Last Jedi, fandom split into factions, he even made (shitty) video of how the relationship between movie and fans could change so much.

He is going to back to the start to find what changed.

Thinks that people see his love for Last Jedi a deal breaker. If you can't handle it, stop watching his video as he wont stop talking about his love for TLJ. You can found your hating opinion from somewhere else in YouTube.

The Last Jedi was movie he didn't know he wanted until he saw it, as it gave him what he wanted from Star Wars movie, spaceships, fights, puppets, his favorite characters and goofy aliens, but it didn't recycle the past, it brought new perspective for Star Warses future, what it could be and do.

The movie left the series in new place it has never been before.

Kylo is complex character and Rey moves beyond the "old fashion ways of the Jedi"

Force was democratized (which it was already) so everyone can be special and he was into it.

Then Solo came and he didn't like it as much as it didn't do anything new, but it looked good visually, so it was fine in his book look. Although it could have been done as comic book or novel. It just shows that series is more interested in filling out wiki entries than making stories

He likes that the movie failed, as not there wont be other prequel movies that will be just wookipedia entries

HE is baffled that people like Mandalorian or that its maker is wanted to make movies. In truth he is not, as the show seems to give people what they want: space western with new world and bad guys to fight. Characters and world are just old stuff with new paint, like Mandalorian is just Bobba Fett, so like Solo, its just Wikipedia page or another Vader Hallway scene. Its just easily digestible comfort-food.

If you like Rise of Skywalker, good for you, he is jealous of your ability to do so. Star wars is not for him anymore.

Story is subpar and its all plot, it ha no new ideas and nothing to say and it just uses previous movie elements. Previous movie ended with new status que but the TROS goes back to the Force Awakens dynamic. Palpatine survived,( but its just movie about space wizards, so it doesent matter) is a plot hole, but not sine happened off screen, we have to understand that he traveled from point a to point b off screen.

Beyond the nostalgia imagery, the movie is worthless and central idea of not being defined by family makes no sense since Rey end alone in desser planet

movie is not about characters or ideas, only about star wars. its recycling itself, like a centipede cloaked in jedi robes.

He wants to see episode 9 Colin Trevorrow version instead, it does new things, like having Fin make Stormtrooper uprising and Kylo stay as the big bad, but the star wars is more content for now on to just recycle the past.

Now that he doesent agree with the choices in the trilogy, he sees that his relation ship with the franchise has changed. he is going to ignore Rise of Skywalker being part of the canon and never watch the movie again.

Goes into weird tangent of how he wont be hater that harasses people and fights people how TROS is bad, as "its unhealthy and shitty thing to do"

Maybe one day star wars will be as good as it used to be and have things he likes.

Thinks star wars writing is bad now, so he promotes skill share starwars creator as good person that you can learn about writing.

Powers and Abilities[]

"A drunk goblin puts coins in BB-8 and that rules.[1]"

  • What-about-tism - TLJ is good because Star Wars is weird; there was a devil in the cantina in A New Hope[1]
  • Film Degree - his superior intellect disproves logic[2]
    • He can also use this to create "artistic" transitions and camera angles to show of his great knowledge of film creation
  • Episode Eight-faced - his opinions can completely change between videos[2]
  • Soybrain - he draws power from watching the suffering of others[1]

Trivia[]

"I also loved the fish nuns and the hell mouth where the movie goes all David Lynch and those crazy things hanging out on Canto Bight.[1]"

  • His hairline recedes every time he shows up.[2]
  • He drinks skim milk because he's disgusting.[2]
  • He doesn't like Christopher Nolan due to his superior tastes.[1]
  • Patric williams is paul watson of far left, makes theories without logical proof
  • he is terrified in woods, as he is not in his element in nature.
  • cant be judged by 20 year old white man and has not much to offer
    • he doesn’t listen to what hehimself says in his videos as his straight white male
  • Likes WickerMan because it has large strawman.while male
  • uses “Real” a lot
  • does not want to his views repeated back to him and likes to hear different perspectives
  • Rex Read, that guy sucks
  • at the end he snipes at cinema sins
  • he has milk in his bedroom, skim milk
  • he should shave his balding head
  • stands outside the movie theater and tells people how invested they should be in the movie, counting the investment 1 to 10 scale
  • his parent restricted his axes to pornhub so he only has the alien cow to look at
  • Fish nuns were angry at luke for burning the temple “I didn’t do it, the ghost puppet did”
  • Patrick killed wolf
  • he has a five head
  • has bizarre liking to porgs “The porgs are great”, not a shill
  • has intern and mother might be Irish, makis videos of talking to his parents
  • wear shades inside the house
  • drinks barriers tea, puts soy milk from his milk cannister to it
  • style includes switching filming locations, from studio to street to ally
  • evolved as critic.
  • uses toy hulk fists to punch people say something he disagrees with. doesn’t know if punching people that say something wrong (in his opinion) is too aggressive.
  • he is not saying that you are wrong, except when you are actually wrong about “indisputable facts.”
  • film criticism has been around since beginning of cinema, as extension to art criticism, which been around since 1700s
  • hair looks like Jewish hat
  • Patrick is racist that sees your opinion on films based on your gender, race and sexuality, as black movie
  • might think that sex, drugs and gore are required for adult film
  • Patrick swears in front of his parents when talking about TLJ, even though it's just a space movie for children.[1]
  • He actually, literally, truly, legitimately likes everything in TLJ.[1]

Quotes[]

“No one seems to know what an actual plot hole is.”-Patrick, apparently unaware of Google/Google's uses
“Remember that guy in your freshman dorm who tried to guess the endings of movies so he could prove that he was smarter than people who made them, now everyone is turning into that guy.”-Patrick working out some long-dormant jealousy issues over an unamed and likely more intelligent classmate

“It seems impossible to watch movies wrong, but you are watching movies wrong.”

“Movies are not about logic, they are not about equations they are not about proofs, they are not puzzles.”
“All those plot holes that people care about don’t actually matter” little later, ”Some of these are actually valid”
“You can find plot holes or logic gaps in any movie, and if you want to, go right ahead. Just don’t tell me that those are genuine flaws and problems and reasons why movie is bad. Because they are not. None of these things actually matter”rn o “I'm not telling you to turn off your brain, just care what actually matters”
“For some reason whole lot of people don’t like this movie, a lot of people are really angry about it.”-Patrick attempting to dissemble ignorance towards people's issues with TLJ
“I think this movie is god damn incredible, its easily the best Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back.” -Patrick showing off his lack of taste
“If you are a person who think that SJW’s or diversity or feminism ruined this movie, or you’re going to tell me I’m a Disney shill or if you are going to tell me I should have watched 5-hour rant by some angry guy on YouTube or if you think I should kill myself because I liked a movie, everyone should remember “THIS IS A FILM ABOUT SPACE WIZARDS INTENDED FOR CHILDREN””-Patrick pulling off an amazing mental gymnastics routine, managing to cite every strawman argument against TLJ while simultaneously condeming the audience for attempting to take the movie seriously as a film
“I want to bring up something that doesn’t get talked about enough: Star Wars has always been weird. Remember the cantina scene? Remember how there is just a fucking devil in there chilling at the bar? The one-eyed tentacle creature in the trash compactor? Since the very beginning Star Wars has been full of weird shit and The Last Jedi lives up to that legacy. The giant alien cow thing that Luke milks is one of my favorite additions to this whole series.”'-Patrick giving a baffling justification for TLJ's "weirdness" (tonal inconsistency)

“Watching rich people getting their shit destroyed is one of the purest pleasure in cinema and if you can’t appreciate that, I feel sorry for you.”-Patrick simultaneously demonstrating that he's a rude piece of sh*t and that he is totally devoid of empathy, much like a sociopath

“So, one side of the emotion is okay, but the other side isn’t, that doesn’t seem like very consistent, looks like your just policing people about how they should feel.” “Telling humans how much they should care about something, historically doesn’t work very well, like, humans don’t like it.” by Mauler

“We are not talking about gun control here, we are talking about a movie about space wizards intended for children." Patrick informing the viewer, much like one would a child who enjoys movies about space wizards, that he is indeed not speaking of firearm regulations

“A lot of people had a lot of demands for this movie, explanations and answers and confirmations of fan theories, and look, I made a whole movie about that. But personally, those weren’t really my top priorities, I just wanted something new, I didn’t want another beat for beat repeat of the original trilogy, I wanted Star Wars to surprise me, to expand the scope of what Star Wars movie could be and also, of course, I wanted a rip-roaring good time. That is exactly what I got.”-Patrick atop his soap box explaining to the plebians that TLJ is good because it subverted the audience's expectations right into a garbage heap

“Right from the opening scene I could tell there was something unique about this movie. The movie begins with a space battle that is seriously one of the best space battles in the entire series, but near the end it does something amazing. In Star Wars we have seen a lot of battles and in those battles, we have seen a lot of random rebel pilots die, but I’ve never really cared about them. No disrespect to Biggs and Porkins, but they were never really characters. But The Last Jedi shines a spot light on Paige Tico, and for 2 minutes she becomes the star of the movie. Paige's desperate attempt to drop the bombs is more suspenseful and more emotional than anything in other battle scenes since trench run. This shot, I thought, holy shit, I have bever seen this in a Star Wars movie before. And I’ve noticed that lot of people don’t want that, they don’t want new things in their Star Wars, and I think that kind of a bummer. One of the reasons I love The Empire Strikes back is that its constantly surprising. Characters grow and change, it shows us amazing new planets and creatures. It changes our conception of Star Wars. And the most disappointing thing about the Return of the Jedi is that it doesn’t really do that. It just gives us lot of things we have seen before. like a Death Star or Tatooine, its big new additions to the mythos are a forest and the revelation that the stormtrooper helmets can be played as drums. Which is kind of cool, but The Last Jedi isn’t content to recycle Star Wars greatest hits and revisit the old planets and reveal that everyone is related to someone we’ve met before. It has story to tell and mythology to expand. I love how this movie finally shows us how the one percent lives in this galaxy, it finally has someone use the force to switch on a light saber, it finally gives us an idea what Obi Wan meant when he said “If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine”. It gives us great new force abilities that feel like natural extensions of what we’ve seen before and speaking of the force, no other movie explains it as well as Luke does here. To quote an email Jonah Hill once wrote describing Jump Street/Men In Black crossover ”Its Clean and Rad and Powerful.””-Patrick swooning over TLJ in between sloppy sips of green alien cow milk

“If you are too hung up on the made-up science of this fictional world with space wizards to enjoy that, then I’ll weep for you.”-Patrick promising to shed corcodile tears for those he deems too inferior to enjoy TLJ (i.e. agree with him)

“And porgs are popping up everywhere and Phasma has a sweet spear-"-Patrick explaining the plot of TLJ while doing his best impression of a child watching a movie intended for them about space wizards

“Humor is good, why am I even explaining this?”-Patrick generalizing about abstract concepts while avoiding the fact that tonal whiplash plagues TLJ

“This is a movie about moving on. Moving on from failures and selfishness and self loathing and empty heroics. Moving on from only certain families being special and everything being same as 30 years ago. Moving on from same old story beats and same old status quo.”-Patrick accidentally explaining why TLJ is the worst Star Wars cinematic event to occur

“this is a weird movie to talk about. This video ended up being longer than it should need to be, because its not enough to say why the movie is good. I also have to preemptively respond to all people who are going to say, “Why didn’t you talk about this thing that’s bad?” Months ago I said there is no way I would make this video, but the truth is that since December, I haven’t stopped thinking about The Last Jedi and all the people who hate it. I wish that you could see what I see, because it’s pretty great."-Patrick using obfuscation tactics to excuse why he's making a video just to declare his love for alien sea cows

“Oh yeah, Canto Bight, you know, that section of the move that people say nothing happens and should just be entirely cut out of the movie. I could spend several minutes here talking about how it’s important that we see oppressed people in the galaxy and the hope that the Resistance symbol inspires, I could talk about how the failure here is caused by Poe and Fin are essential teaching moments in both of their arcs.”-Patrick nimbly dodging any real justification for his love of the Canto Bight scene in TLJ

“Peoples definition's vary.”-Patrick expertly stating the obvious

“Movies are not math.”-Patrick making a striking differentiation between the numeral and film realms

"We don't need to let the past die, but to accept that there is a future as well"

"I am a adult, and these are movies about space children intended for children"

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