"So uh... here's the thing..."
Quinton Kyle Hoover, also known as Quinton Reviews or simply Quinton, is a
YouTuber BreadTuber YouTuber who makes movie reviews. He is a recurring villain of EFAP and the twist main villain of EFAP Season 1. He is the chief strawmanner of the council of PAFE. According to him, people who disagree with his politics shouldn't be "humanized" and only nerds would care about consistency in media.
History[edit | edit source]
PreFAP[edit | edit source]
Quinton Reviews makes movie reviews, but became popular due to his Fallen Titans series, where he chronicles the fall from grace of internet personalities previously held in high regard. He used to be somewhat chummy with the more "anti-SJW" YouTubers, but he later went on to say that he knew ever since he met them that they weren't right for him, despite having made positive videos about meeting them two years in a row after the alleged realization.
He made a parody critique of Citizen Kane as a way to prove how easy it would to make a narative. Unfortunately he made it so poorly that nobody knew if he was joking or not, even bringing in people that genuinely thought that he was serious.
The Final Boss of Season 1[edit | edit source]
After Rags made a response to I Hate Everything's The Last Jedi review, The Right Opinion made a response to Rags' response. Since Rags included clips from MauLer's The Last Jedi review in his video, TRO saw it fair to include a guest of his own - Quinton Reviews, who was more familiar with the Star Wars films and was a friend of TRO's. Quinton had previously taken several jabs at MauLer, but had refused to actually engage with him, and seemed to be using TRO's video as an excuse to sneak in a hitpiece on MauLer without having to make a video of his own. MauLer, Rags, and Wolf found multiple issues littered throughout the video, but by far the most egregious were on Quinton's part - while TRO's section seemed to stem from honest misunderstandings, Quinton's seemed to be more malicious in nature. Quinton ended up leaving a comment on the stream saying he didn't even bother watching it because they paused too much. In EFAP #10, the final episode of Season 1, The Right Opinion came on, and had a productive conversation with MauLer and Rags, and he had some difficulty defending Quinton's argumentation. TRO later unlisted his video on Rags, feeling it was poorly done.
The Fuckin' Hatening of Trump[edit | edit source]
Quinton is well-known for his declaration of hatred of then-President Donald Trump in his review of Logan Paul's The Thinning 2. To Quinton's credit, this was not a complete non-sequitor like many claim, as the film itself was seemingly trying to parody Trump with one of its characters, and Quinton's intent was to say that despite disliking Trump himself, he thought the Trump character was poorly executed. However, Quinton continued to describe his hatred of Trump in detail for a minute longer than he needed to, making it excessive to the point of being ridiculous.
EFAP 54[edit | edit source]
EFAP 67 - Ewoks of Color & Fascist Midichlorians[edit | edit source]
(Alleged) DMs to Lindsay Ellis & Sarah Z[edit | edit source]
Sarah Z, of fly-swatting fame, posted a screenshot of (alleged) Twitter DMs she received from someone passive-aggressively accusing her of disliking them and saying that they're going to unfollow. Lindsay Ellis responded to this with screenshots of similar DMs she (allegedly) received, believing that the same (alleged) person was responsible, and Sarah Z replied in confirmation. Ellis censored the profile picture of the (alleged) perpetrator with black circles, but they didn't line up perfectly, and people noticed that the sliver of (alleged) profile picture left unobscured matched that of none other than Quinton Reviews. Sarah Z's description of the (alleged) perpetrator as another creator who has an (alleged) history of mentioning in videos when she doesn't respond to them further narrows down the options and supports the (alleged) idea that the person is Quinton, allegedly. Quinton also (allegedly) posted two now-deleted Tweets (allegedly) saying that he felt awful to the point of having a mild panic attack and asking for nice messages, and Sarah Z's description of the (alleged) perpetrator being the type of person who "behaves inappropriately, gets told they're behaving inappropriately, and then deliberately solicits pity from people who don't have context," matches up with Quinton's (alleged) Tweet. This (alleged) behavior by Quinton matches with a similar (confirmed) incident involving MovieBob, further supporting the theory that Bob is Quinton's father.
Psychoanalysis[edit | edit source]
Aydin's science powers theorize that the questionable quality of Quinton's critique is due to his need to fit in with a group that he can agree with on everything. He conceals several racetisms under his progressive veneer, since he thinks that the poor Asians need Rian Johnson to help them and that black people are comparable to Ewoks.
VidCon 2020 video[edit | edit source]
In the Summer of 2020, when VidCon would have happened if not for the COVID-19 pandemic, Quinton, cartoon-reviewer extraordinaire, set out on a project of his own. He set out to make a virtual "Vidcon" in place of the actual one, comprised of cameos from other YouTubers, a novel idea, but of course, this is Quinton. It begins with Quinton waking up in Transformers pajamas to go to "VidCon." Quinton provides constant commentary across the entire video, also bringing up a Jar video that nobody watched, and simping for Contrapoints. He also speaks to some mailman doll thing, who goes on a 2005-era SNL-style rant about emails. He makes ScottTheWoz physically cringe, giving the impression that Quinton is a nuisance to everyone else, a choice Quinton himself must have made intentionally since the other YouTubers in this video must be on good enough terms with him in actuality to cameo in his video. He practically calls a bunch of PNGs the N-word when he is at a party. At night, he receives a message from Linkara, the Lightbringer himself, to tell him that he will die at age forty from consuming too much junk food. The next day, he continues to pester other YouTubers, who were once again put off by him despite cameoing in his video. He then goes onto a Garfield panel, a subtle nod to the fact that Quinton likes Garfield. He continues to irritate those around him, and the story time illustrator Emirichu calls him a jackass, further deprecating him. Before he leaves VidCon, some guy in glasses (not Doug Walker) roasts him extensively. Quinton is then kidnapped by the "Leftist Mob," or something. He takes this time to provide commentary about annoying people on Twitter. Then the point is made that the Sonic movie is actually Nazi propaganda, a strange thing to conclude about a movie about speed hedgehogs made for children. The leftists then sodomize and kill him. He appears in some sort of void and a bunch of PNGs start singing. Quinton gives an impassioned speech where he waxes philosophical about something or another. Various other YouTubers then talk about how miserable they all are. The theme is that the Youtubers, who have the ability to work from home unlike others, have it so hard because of the pandemic, a true subversion of audience expectations. With that, Quinton concludes his magnum opus, truly Quinton Reviews' Doug Walker's Nostalgia Critic's Pink Floyd's The Wall. Garfield.
Quotes[edit | edit source]
“A review is nothing more than a description of an experience, this states back to when reviews spoke of plays and concerts instead of DVD's and Blu-rays”
“Art is not a science. There is no universally or factually proved worth, and that is why arguably art has any value in the first place.”
Rag: "This fucks up the lore", Quinton “Does it tho?”"
“You are an idiot, Quinton” - Ragbo Raggins
"Poe is just an idiot".
"You can pretend that from certain skewed point of view maybe Poe was secretly the hero of the movie."
“So the question becomes, to Mauler and Rags, what are "Objective Values" and more importantly, what are "Subjective Values" and why are they “factually” worse?”
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Unlike other Massives that argue against Strawmen, Quinto fights Jellymen.
- Mauler suspects that Quinton sees him and Rags as “Cultist warriors fighting for The Last Jedi to be considered bad”.
- Character inconsistencies, plot inconsistencies and the world inconsistencies is just “fan-stuff”.
- By Wolf's opinion, Quinton has a "punchable face" and Mauler sees him as a twat, coward, liar, idiot, scummy and hypocrite.
- He called Admiral Ackbar "boring and lifeless" and "2000's meme", which is why he believes Ackbar getting unceremoniously killed a good thing. Doesn't matter either way, as Ackbar is just Holdo with orange skin.
- According to him, Rags thinks that movie is without value if it sold toys.
- Quinton is scummy and doesn’t value the pursuit of knowledge