Quinton Reviews

Quinton
Alias	Quinton Rambles Quentin Quintonius Fucking faggot (self-proclaimed)
Role	Antagonist
Occupation	YouTuber
Affiliation	PAFE
Personal Information
Birthplace	United States
Species	Human
Gender	Male
Marital	Single
Hair color	Brown
Eye color	Blue
Relatives	MovieBob (father, theorized) Sex Doll (partner in crime)
EFAP Information
First Appearance	Episode 8
Latest Appearance	Episode 67
External Links	YouTube

"So uh, here's the thing..."

Quinton Kyle Hoover, also known as Quinton Reviews or simply Quinton, is a YouTuber BreadTuber YouTuber who makes movie reviews. He is a recurring villain of EFAP and the twist main villain of EFAP Season 1. He is the chief strawmanner of the council of PAFE.

Appearance

"It's amusing to me that Quinton Reviews chose to be this meek dude who tries to get attention from girls through pity. He's like 6'7" with a jaw like an anvil. Guy could lift weights for a year or two and turn into a Gigachad who reviews Bee Movie and had way more success."

- BeigeFrequency on Twitter

Quinton is very tall, has brown hair and tends to sport a beard, though his facial hair (and sometimes lack thereof) and hair length seem to change frequently as part of a sort of recurring joke for his channel. His vague resemblance to Sargon of Akkad had a profound impact on his worldview, driving him to become the anti-Sargon. He wears glasses and often wears Garfield merch. His yellow shirt in his profile picture on Twitter once helped to identify him as the (alleged) mystery man behind the (alleged) DMs.

History

PreFAP

Quinton Reviews makes movie reviews, but became popular due to his Fallen Titans series, where he chronicles the fall from grace of internet personalities previously held in high regard. He used to be somewhat chummy with the more "anti-SJW" YouTubers, but he later went on to say that he knew ever since he met them that they weren't right for him, despite having made positive videos about meeting them two years in a row after the alleged realization.

He once made a video "debunking" the joke campaign PewDiePie had to stay more subscribed than T-series, thinking that PewDiePie was being serious and calling him pathetic for being so competitive. He ended up taking the video down when he got a lot of flack for it.

Quinton also criticized PewDiePie for having Ben Shapiro cameo on his Meme Review show to read Ben Shapiro memes, arguing that it "humanized" Ben Shapiro's political position, despite Shapiro's political views that Quinton took issue with were not showcased in the video. Aydin and the EFAP gang would later conclude this was so he could argue that they're not related, on account of them not being human.

Quinton got into a fight with Not Mumkey Jones, who was not Mumkey Jones, though Quinton mistakenly believed he was Mumkey Jones. Quinton sent a long string of angry DMs to this account in relation to perceived beef between himself and the real Mumkey Jones, pinning Mumkey for harassment he received from fans of his and sarcastically referring to himself as a "faggot" multiple times because he believed that Mumkey believed him to be a faggot. Not Mumkey Jones passed along these DMs to the actual Mumkey Jones, who was appalled by Quinton's liberal usage of the F-slur

Foreshadowing

Quinton made a parody critique of Citizen Kane as a way to prove how easy it would to make a review like one of MauLer's. Unfortunately he made it so poorly that nobody knew if he was joking or not, even bringing in people that genuinely thought that he was serious

EFAP 0

TBA

The Final Boss of Season 1

"Hi I'm Quinton Reviews-"

"[groan]"

- Quinton and MauLer

After Rags made a response to I Hate Everything's The Last Jedi review, The Right Opinion made a response to Rags' response. Since Rags included clips from MauLer's The Last Jedi review in his video, TRO saw it fair to include a guest of his own - Quinton Reviews, who was more familiar with the Star Wars films and was a friend of TRO's. Quinton had previously taken several jabs at MauLer, but had refused to actually engage with him, and seemed to be using TRO's video as an excuse to sneak in a hitpiece on MauLer without having to make a video of his own. MauLer, Rags, and Wolf (who had to dip out before Quinton's segment) found multiple issues littered throughout the whole video, but it got far more egregious once Quinton entered the mix. He recounted having watched MauLer's entire critique of The Last Jedi in preparation and finding the whole experience highly disagreeable, but that that was not a bad thing, which MauLer and Rags figured they agreed with. He explained that a review is nothing more than a description of an experience, which MauLer and Rags found somewhat reductive, but he elaborated that this went back to when people reviewed plays instead of movies. He concluded that there is no way to measure art's worth since it is not a science, and that this is arguably the only reason art has any value in the first place, prompting MauLer both to ask if that means science is worthless and recall that I Hate Everything himself disagress with this. Quinton's problem with what he called Rags' "thesis statement" was that it meant other people could not disagree with his opinions because his are objective while theirs are just subjective, his proof being a clip of Rags calling The Last Jedi was "an objectively poorly-made film." Rags, on the other hand, had said outright that it's okay to like the movie, while MauLer held that judging something objectively is not meant to replace doing so subjectively, and you can do both. Quinton believed most of Rags' response to I Hate Everything was actually him paraphrasing his "best friend" MauLer, and MauLer and Rags were both pleasantly surprised to learn that they were best friends. Famously, the text Quinton put onscreen described what was shown as "Rag's video," raising the question of just who this Rag person was.

The Right Opinion added that he did not want to say that deeming something objectively good or bad was impossible, but that it was pushing the limits, and MauLer found it odd that he considered it technically possible while Quinton in the same video deemed it completely impossible. Quinton continued that if you told I Hate Everything you disagreed with his video and disliked The Last Jedi, he would at least be sensible and say that that was your opinion, leading MauLer to recall the call he had with I Hate Everything where the man himself ended up agreeing it was a badly-written movie. Quinton questioned just what "objective values" even means to MauLer and Rags, something he could have found out from them had he not declined MauLer's offer to chat, and more importantly, what made subjective values "factually worse," something MauLer and Rags never said. His proof that they thought this was a screenshot of MauLer saying that subjectivity and objectivity are different from one another, and a clip of MauLer saying that if you think The Last Jedi is great, good luck calling anything bad. MauLer stood by this, arguing that just about anything that a movie could be called bad for is contained within The Last Jedi, but that that is different from someone liking the film and disliking another, since nobody requires any justification to like what they like.

Quinton deemed it ridiculous to deem MauLer and Rags' criticisms of The Last Jedi objective because they were mostly just "thoughts about the lore and nitpicks about dialogue," an already reductive statement made stranger by the fact that nitpicks by their nature are small, but correct - an incorrect criticism would not be a nitpick, it would just be wrong. Quinton considered this "thesis statement" he imagined MauLer and Rags having to be toxic... in his subjective opinion, and claimed they used their "flood thesis" to fight a holy war for their opinions. Quinton informed MauLer and Rags that they are not warriors, and we are all just nerds on the internet talking about movies, something MauLer and Rags already knew. Since he knew more about Star Wars than The Right Opinion did, he considered it his job to disagree with Rags. not because Rags is wrong, but because he wanted to prove Rags could be disagreed with and therefore is not objective. He also considered Rags' style of reacting to a video in real time to be inherently flawed, since stopping in between sentences and even sometimes mid-sentence will stop him from absorbing the whole point, while Rags figured that whatever context he misses he will get when he resumes the video, MauLer finding the claim ironic since at least Rags plays the whole video while Quinton actively chopped out context from Rags'. At this point Rags was ready to call it a night, and the coverage continued in EFAP 9

EFAP 9

Argues that while the sequels are “interpreted as sequels” they are “heavily standalone” -- It's debatable if lore is important to whenever or not the movie is good enough, so contradicting previous stories is okay - you shouldn’t account to previous films since most or at least half of the audience won’t know what you are talking about - tries to use TV show as way to prove movie lore, and claims to be using same critical metric on The Last Jedi and the original trilogy

Criticism of Yoda's presence Mauler and Rags have is countered with “speculation, as we don’t know”, or conjecture.

Thinks IHE being emotionally attached to the franchise is same as being a regular fan, like Rags and how he hates the movie. Calls this “mean spirited and hypocritical”, something he himself is. -- Comments that he is “arguing as a fan, instead of critic”.

Quinton claimed that Rags thinks that if a Force power was never shown in a previous movie then it can't ever happen in a new one, when Rags' point was that adding in a power that would have been useful in previous movies raises the question of why it was never used before. He justified Yoda being able to summon lightning from the afterlife since Alec Guinness accidentally brushed against some grass in Return of the Jedi, ignoring that the issue is that if a ghost can summon lightning then they should be able to kill any enemy without effort.

Snaps his fingers to show clip that’s supposed to prove Rags critique wrong, only to not mean anything

He believes that Leia having potential to use Force, like Luke does, means that she can survive freezing in space and able her to fly back into the ship.

Claims that Rags thinks mark Hamill is lying about The Last Jedi - Mauler and Rags only show clips of mark Hamill when they agree with their narrative, trying to point out when his lying that he likes the movie. cutting parts that support them and showing it in video. when he likes it, his lying and trying to keep the peace and that part won’t be shown - thinks Rags and Mauler claim to read Hamills mind and know what’s in marks head better than anyone else. similarly, he himself and TRO seem to think they themselves know what's in their mind.

Quinton dismissively asked "Who cared about Snoke?" in response to two people who cared about Snoke. -- Nobody cared about the Emperor before the prequels he was there just to be killed. The most interesting thing that could have been done with Snoke was he was killed and replaced by Kylo. It's good that it was unexpected and never seen in Star Wars. Anyway, there wouldn’t have been any interesting reveal with Snoke. If he was someone like Darth Plagueis, he would have found it funny, as he could look around in the theater and see people confused to who Plagueis is. Besides, Rey doesn’t know anything about Palpatine or the Empire, so why bother letting her know?

Thinks we should attack movie characters for doing stupid things like going to canto bight, instead of blaming the writer who literally made it so - it’s not Holdo's fault for not telling anything, its Poe's and Finn's fault for going behind her back - argued that Holdo thought that Poe was spy, something that was not actually in the movie. Thinks the ramming into ships is clever and nobody had thought of it before.

Thinks that the Star Wars had made everything the series can, now they have to reinvent and rip things off.

Quinton interpreted Rags' jab at toy sales as Rags thinking that a movie is objectively without value if it sold toys, something Rags never said.

Quinton asserts that Rags is on a high horse and sees himself who can decide who is a fan of Star Wars, as his objective.

His segments in TRO's video are as if he just ranted about Mauler and Rags against a wall, sent the footage to editors to just slap it into the video.

Quinton ended up leaving a comment on the stream saying he didn't even bother watching it because they paused too much. In EFAP 10, the final episode of Season 1, The Right Opinion came on, and had a productive conversation with MauLer and Rags, and he had some difficulty defending Quinton's argumentation. TRO later unlisted his video on Rags, feeling it was poorly done.

The Fuckin' Hatening of Trump

Quinton is well-known for his declaration of hatred of then-President Donald Trump in his review of Logan Paul's The Thinning 2. To Quinton's credit, this was not a complete non-sequitur like many claim, as the film itself was seemingly trying to parody Trump with one of its characters, and Quinton's intent was to say that despite disliking Trump himself, he thought the Trump character was poorly executed. However, Quinton continued to describe his hatred of Trump in detail for a minute longer than he needed to, making it excessive to the point of being ridiculous.

Later, Quinton would go on to defend this on Twitter by saying that the people in his audience who were turned off by him simply stating his disapproval of Trump were acting like babies for being bothered by something so innocuous, despite the fact that Quinton's original statement was itself prompted by him being annoyed at The Thinning 2 for itself including an out of place criticism of Trump.

on The Last Jedi

“His newer videos have shown improvement”

“Um, compared to what?”

"Well certainly this.”

- Jay and MauLer

MauLer was introduced to Aydin when he was recommended her video analyzing Quinton's Contrapoints video, and invited her onto EFAP 54, where she, MauLer, Rags, and Jay witnessed their first true Quinton Review. After a beginning discussion about Nostalgia Critic's The Wall review, Chat began pressing Q for Quinton, and the gang turned their eye to his video "Is The Last Jedi THAT Bad?", which had been watched previously but not on EFAP. Aydin mentioned that she initially started watching Quinton when she stopped watching Doctor Who, because his Doctor Who reviews were good - Jay concurred. They also discussed the timeline of events surrounding Quinton's unlisting of his Contrapoints video. Quinton began by stating he initially didn't want to give his take on the movie, as he didn't know what the general consensus would be on it. He came to believe that the only reason that the "dark side of the commentary" hates the movie is because it became a meme to hate the movie (based on the fact that there is a KnowYourMeme page on the event), comparing it to people who ate Tide Pods, to which Aydin asked wouldn't it make more sense that the memes came from people hating it already rather than the other way around.

Quinton stated that "when you take away nitpicks about the story, thoughts about the characters, and if it fits into canon, which is all basically just fan stuff, there is very little that I have to say about how this movie was actually bad," leaving the roster baffled as to how he could consider so many of those major elements of the film to simply be "fan stuff," and his argument boiling down to "if you ignore the bad stuff, there's no bad stuff." It was brought up that Quinton had expressed that Palpatine being brought back for Episode IX weakens the ending of Return of the Jedi, even though that's just fan stuff. Aydin went on to elaborate that people who hate something are usually the ones who initially loved it the most, as they were the ones who were invested enough to care about it in the first place, and somebody who didn't care about it wouldn't be upset at it. Quinton claimed he could write out pages of constructive criticism on the movie, and gave several legitimate criticisms of the worldbuilding in the sequels, but said that those things didn't really matter as they had no bearing on his enjoyment, and said he couldn't place why the movie would be seen as bad, after also having previously highlighted the "fan stuff" that people found bad. He also found the space battles boring, as they were limited by trying to mimic World War I and II battles, and he wrote off the existence of lightspeed tracking as something the film wasted time on, likening it to the prequels' explanation of midichlorians, asking "Like, you think we care?", to which the gang responded that many people cared about both those things a good bit, as they have massive implications on the rest of the story and the world. Jay imagined Quinton applying a similar logic to someone pulling a knife on him, and asking “Why am I supposed to care that a knife exists?”

Quinton also shrugged off complaints that Admiral Ackbar was killed offscreen unceremoniously because Ackbar was "boring and lifeless" anyway and is just a "2000's meme," so killing him was good. He claimed that Ackbar, a bit character from a previous film, was better off replaced with Holdo, a brand new character with no prior history, because Ackbar is just Holdo with orange skin, and being a different skintone doesn't add anything of value to a character.

Quinton argued that the pointless parts of the movie like the casino planet were just excuses to give the characters something to do, to which MauLer agreed that it is possible for a movie to have a bad plot but good characters, and that that makes more sense than having a good plot with bad characters, though the issue came in that the characters in The Last Jedi weren't good either. Quinton found the character of Rose "interesting enough" and found it too harsh to compare her to Jar Jar. He praised the film for casting an Asian actor in a lead role, then mentioned how he knew bringing it up as something exceptional defeats the point, prompting the question of why he even brought it up. Jay commented that "you get to look at Asians." Quinton also brought up that some people assume that a non-white actor appearing in a movie is automatically "SJW," and that if someone is upset because a character "could have been white" that that is bad.

Quinton described how Poe's "cowboy heroism" (destroying the fleet-killer ship that was going to kill their fleet) almost got everyone (the fighter pilots who were engaged in combat with the enemy) killed, and brought up how some people thought the character of Admiral Holdo sent a feminist message, citing an Alex Jones clip, which he finds preposterous, even though he himself cites Holdo's hair color as “tumblr hair” implying it has a link to real life discourse. He then concluded from that that there wouldn't be as much disagreement with her if she were a man, and therefore none of the criticism is valid. Rags was reminded of how Joshathan Joshajosh also argued Holdo and the other women in the film sent a feminist message, but considered it a good thing.

Quinton compared Finn hatred of the casino planet to the “that's why I hate sharks” line from Sharknado, even though a shark killing someone is a bad reason to hate every species of shark as a whole, while finding out a society is currently engaging in slavery is a very good reason to hate that society, especially for Finn, who was a slave up until two days ago. Quinton criticized the codebreaker subplot for being about shutting down the tracker to defeat the antagonists, which he doesn't care about, then criticized that the only reason we know what the characters feel was because they say how they're feeling, to which MauLer says that it makes sense seeing the way the planet is run would provoke Rose to talk about her issues with it, which should provoke Finn to relate it to his own past. Quinton argued that Canto Bight was ultimately fine since it was just setup for things happening in the later part of the movie, prompting the question of wouldn't that description apply to everything in the movie that isn't the ending. Quinton figured that much of the plot was setup for other stuff that will get paid off in Episode IX, to which MauLer said if anything it ends its story and doesn't leave Episode IX with much to continue off of.

Quinton loved what they did with Luke, arguing it was the perfect bookend to his character because he made a big mistake and decided he needed to cut himself off from the Force because being a Jedi was bad. He argued against people saying Luke trying to murder his nephew in his sleep was out of character because he swung a sword at Vader in the middle of a swordfight after Vader intentionally goaded him into attacking him by threatening his sister. He argued that made sense for Luke to seclude himself because he realized that him making even one mistake can lead to death of millions, but MauLer pointed out that the seclusion is what caused his mistake to lead to the death of millions. The scenes of Luke... training Rey blew him away, because to him they explained the Jedi Order without being too pandersome. Quinton claimed that Rey makes the same mistake as Luke, because her trying to help Kylo turned him from morally ambiguous (he blew up five planets) to the leader of an evil empire, to which MauLer brought up that Rey's actions also led to the death of Snoke, himself the leader of an evil empire who was more evil than Kylo. Quinton argued that Rey associates the lightsaber with Luke, while Kylo associated it with Anakin and therefore Vader, which MauLer said was a better idea than what was portrayed in the actual movie. He praised the lightsaber fights for fitting better with George Lucas' original vision of them being heavier than they looked, saying they felt deadlier in this trilogy, even though the lightsabers in the sequels barely damage anybody whereas before they were regularly chopping off limbs.

Quinton praised the Crait scene where the characters' stories intersect (in other words, where everybody sort of conveniently ends up), and Finn tried to sacrifice himself, Poe learned to not be steadfast, and Luke tried to rectify his mistakes by not showing up. Quinton, who previously argued that the movie not connecting to previous films was just fan stuff, stated that The Last Jedi was the first Star Wars movie to make the movies all feel connected, causing MauLer to break. Quinton went on to say he didn't know what was going to happen next, to which MauLer answered that's because it left the series with nowhere to go. It occurred to the roster that Quinton did not answer the question, “Is The Last Jedi really that bad?”

MauLer wondered why Quinton was using art rather than actual movie clips in his video, to which Jay asked if the movie was out on DVD yet, leading MauLer to realize the video was released in February before it was available, and thanked his conscience (and not Jay) for clearing that up. Jay demanded Quinton thank him for protecting him against being strawmanned. Also discussed on the stream was the time Quinton said the Star Wars sequels are only sequels if you interpret them as such, which caused her brain to shut down. Aydin also brought up Quinton blocking her for mocking his Contrapoints video, leading to talk of Quinton trying to be a BreadTuber and then of him having previously tried to be a Channel Awesome reviewer and a Skeptic tuber, and what exactly a Skeptic even is (and if Rags or Aydin even count)

on The Rise of Skywalker, Ewoks of Color, & Fascist Midichlorians

"Does he have a sticker of six different colored frogs fucking?"

- Rags

Fresh off of experiencing the disaster that was The Rise of Skywalker, MauLer and Rags decided to revisit Quinton with JLongbone, Weekend, Chase, and E;R on EFAP 67. He seemed noticeably dispassionate about even bringing himself to make a video, with MauLer commenting that in a previous video Quinton had stated he was permanently downgrading the quality of his videos because he couldn't be fucked to do better. Quinton apologized for the bad audio quality on account of him being in the middle of moving and having not put up his "accoustic" tiles, but his audio was no better in previous videos.

He didn’t like The Rise of Skywalker because it was everything he didn’t want from it and it failed in everything it was trying to be - sounds like it subverted his expectations -- Quinton described how the moment he saw Palpatine in the movie he stopped caring, and had to leave the theater so he could burst into laughter without being stared at by people, but he didn't know what he was laughing at, until he realized that he may have been laughing to cope with the fact that secretly he still cared -- Still put it above the prequels, which were "unwatchable" -- George made Star Wars to say war is an tool of imperialism (except those three movies where a war was fought against an empire) - Disney made the movies for money and nostalgia and made them for people to feel good and to say “consume” -- Used Rey on Tatooine as an example of nostalgia for nostalgia's sake, when she was on Tatooine specifically for something to do with Luke -- Quinton shitted and farted and pissed his pants at a movie about space wizards for children, and EFAP denounced his sexism for getting mad about a movie with a female lead -- Says that Rey taking the Skywalker name is the sequels saying that the OT was good and since they have same name they are good by proxy - said this to upset the alt -right -- Talks lot of fan stuff and interpreting movies as sequels - sequels have ruined lot of lore, which is just fan stuff, but he hates that it's been ruined -- Quinton argued that Vader's redemption only worked when the audience was not aware of his crimes, and that the prequels ruined that by making us aware that he committed a genocide, even citing the destruction of Alderaan, seemingly forgetting that Vader blew up Alderaan in the first movie he appeared in. - thinks there is some entity and heaven in Star Wars and that there is space Jesus - previously said a sequel is only a sequel if you interpret it as such, and consistency is fan stuff

He described Luke as being an audience surrogate who the audience could live through and imagine themselves being able to use the Force, but Anakin didn't serve this function because the introduction of midichlorians meant he got his Force abilities from his blood and therefore from his family, despite his mother having no Force powers and Luke being the one who inherited powers from his parent. Quinton had the usual critique that midichlorians took away the mysticism of the Force, but went on to conclude that midichlorians on an intellectual level are a “little overtly fascist.” - Jedi didn’t free slaves, only ones that had strong force, so superior genes.

Rian threw the mystery box away because there was no satisfying answers, as they answers like who are Rey's parents have no effect on the characters or the plot, but it should answer what was the point of the sequels -- Thinks that TLJ brought back the mysticism by saying that everyone can use the force -- Thinks that at the end of The Last Jedi Kylo goes from a redeemable Anakin type to a power hungry Palpatine type, and that trying to redeem him is stupid and impossible - and it gave the film a better main villain in Kylo, and set up the 9^th movie that would be something else except the 6^th movie copy, 9 would be something better, but it ended up being just 6 but bigger -- Likes TLJ as it's different - breaking the mask is Kylo separating himself from from Vader and becoming an individual - broom boy using force is beautiful moment -- Most spineless thing about Rise of Skywalker is that Porgs have not nested in the Falcon, months after the last film

Quinton claimed that the lack of screentime for Rose Tico was intended to appease anti-Asian racists, and that every scene with Zorii Bliss was a scene that should have been with Rose instead. He made the same claim with the character of Jannah, saying that her role in the movie should have instead been filled by Ewoks, and EFAP quickly disavowed his racism for believing that black people and Ewoks are interchangeable.

None of the relationships are acknowledged. Needs sexuality to be important, especially gay representation and queer, so that they can't be edited out for other countries -- Thinks that TLJ haters are satisfied with answers rise of skywalkers answers to mystery box, but he has no point or gain

Sees TROS as just Harry Potter -- Finds Leia scenes creepy as Carrie Fisher is dead -- Thinks he knows how Palpatine should be written -- Thinks that his Rise of Skywalker is his first video in 2 years that people are mad at him for -- He's not going to do anything related to Rise of Skywalker, like sniping people, making hit pieces and such. He has more important things, like his sex doll

(Alleged) DMs to Lindsay Ellis & Sarah Z

Sarah Z, of fly-swatting fame, posted a screenshot of (alleged) Twitter DMs she received from someone passive-aggressively accusing her of disliking them and saying that they're going to unfollow. Lindsay Ellis responded to this with screenshots of similar DMs she (allegedly) received, believing that the same (alleged) person was responsible, and Sarah Z replied in confirmation. Ellis censored the profile picture of the (alleged) perpetrator with black circles, but they didn't line up perfectly, and people noticed that the sliver of (alleged) profile picture left unobscured matched that of none other than Quinton Reviews. Sarah Z's description of the (alleged) perpetrator as another creator who has an (alleged) history of mentioning in videos when she doesn't respond to them further narrows down the options and supports the (alleged) idea that the person is Quinton, allegedly. Quinton also (allegedly) posted two now-deleted Tweets (allegedly) saying that he felt awful to the point of having a mild panic attack and asking for nice messages, and Sarah Z's description of the (alleged) perpetrator being the type of person who "behaves inappropriately, gets told they're behaving inappropriately, and then deliberately solicits pity from people who don't have context," matches up with Quinton's (alleged) Tweet. This (alleged) behavior by Quinton matches with a similar (confirmed) incident involving MovieBob, further supporting the theory that Bob is Quinton's father.

He confirmed it was him on Discord

Ascent to Longmanhood

Quinton has since shifted some of his focus on making longform critiques of things like Nickelodeon live-action shows like iCarly and Victorious, sometimes spanning up to eight hours long, somewhat ironic from a man who previously critiqued MauLer's Longmanism. Quinton's videos have similarly been Long Man Bad'd by people screenshotting the timestamp on Twitter, sometimes alongside MauLer's The Force Awakens critique and Jay's Doctor Who video. Whether these videos are any good remains to be seen, but they are most definitely Long.

Psychoanalysis

Aydin's science powers theorize that the questionable quality of Quinton's critique is due to his need to fit in with a group that he can agree with on everything. He conceals several racetisms under his progressive veneer, since he thinks that the poor Asians need Rian Johnson to help them and that black people are comparable to Ewoks.

Powers and Abilities

TBA

Quotes

• "Hi I'm Quinton Reviews-"
  "[groan]"
  - Quinton and MauLer, EFAP 8
• “A review is nothing more than a description of an experience. This dates back to when reviews spoke of plays and concerts instead of DVDs and Blu-Rays”
• "Art is not a science, there is no means to universally or factually prove worth - and arguably that is why art has any value in the first place"
• "The problem is that his thesis statement is that other people are not allowed to disagree with his opinion, because his opinion is on a higher playing field than everyone else's, or to put it like he likes to, his opinions are objective, and the opinions of people who disagree with him? Well those, those are just subjective" - Quinton, describing something Rags did not say
• "Most of this video created by Rags is in fact paraphrasing a video made by his apparent best friend, MauLer"
  "Quinton announced it publicly for you but hey, I'll accept it"
  "I do"
  - Quinton, MauLer, Rags
• "and also what he's trying to say about the nature of opinions"
• "Rag's video"
• "So the question becomes, to MauLer and Rags, what are objective values, and more importantly, what are subjective values, and why are they 'factually worse'?" - Quinton, putting finger quotes around something nobody said
• "To state that your opinions, which mostly come down to things like thoughts about the lore and nitpicks about dialogue, are objective facts that can never be disputed by anyone is ridiculous"
• "This thesis statement, in my subjective opinion, is inherently toxic"
• "Socially they use their flood thesis"
• "They believe themselves to be warriors. You two are not warriors, none of us are warriors, we are geeks online that talk about films, stop acting like you are warriors" - Quinton, saying something nobody disagreed with
• "This fucks up the lore"
  “Does it tho?"
  - Rags & Quinton
• “You are an idiot, Quinton” - Ragbo Raggins
• “Chat's pressing Q for Quinton.” - Rags, EFAP 54
• “I wouldn't wanna be in Quinton.” - Jay, EFAP 54
• “But here's what's really important to me - when you take away nitpicks about the story, thoughts about the characters, and if it fits into canon, which is all basically just fan stuff, there is very little that I have to say about how this movie was actually bad.“ - EFAP 54
• "Poe is just an idiot".
• "You can pretend that from certain skewed point of view maybe Poe was secretly the hero of the movie."
• “I stopped you from being strawmanned Quinton, thank me.” - Jay, EFAP 54
• “I love this film's take on Luke Skywalker.”
  “Oh god, you're so terrible.”
  - Quinton and Rags, EFAP 54
• "The Rebellion has been in power for 30 years."
• "Just because it annoys me, it doesn't ruin the fun."
• “Apparently Quinton has released his sex doll video”
  “What.”
  - MauLer and Jay, EFAP 54
• “Having a female lead define her importance exclusively through a male lead is bad writing”
• “The point of this scene is that you can't kill Hitler or you will become Hitler”

Trivia

• Unlike other Massives, who argue against Strawmen, Quinton fights Jellymen
  • Even when he doesn't defeat them. he first tries but then they just topple on him and suffocate him in the jelly.
• Quinton sees MauLer and Rags as “Cultist warriors fighting for The Last Jedi to be considered bad”.
• Likes to throw stones and snipe from a distance.
• Hates Mankey.
• Quinton would play catch with his kids and then go to rant about Trump.
• Quinton shaves the middle of his unibrow.
• He can vote twice.
• He has a sex doll he purchased for his videos. It's hugging Mickey Mouse and wears the same shirt as Quinton. and looks like Onision.
• Quinton takes pride in the accomplishment of pissing off white supremacists, despite also believing that pissing off white supremacists is one of the easiest things imaginable.
  • Rags, on the other hand, takes the opposite approach, encouraging white supremacists to support him because receiving money from white supremacists combines his two favorite things - him having more money, and white supremacists having less money.
• Quinton sees through people's lies and recognizes the racists,; i.e. people who didn't like the character of Rose Tico.
• Has not been within a hundred miles of a woman without getting a restraining order.
• Quinton has two right hands, which caused him to spell Rags' name wrong.
• Made a video talking about YouTubers copying one another, and says that every angry gamer isn't copying cinemassacre and not every racist gamer is copying JonTron.
• Logan Paul is a good person since he filmed a dead man and didn’t do it again so he deserves to keep his content, but Pewdipie gets more controversy, so he deserves to loose his content.
• In his past he was a Nazi (or at least a “closet Nazi”) "Adolf Quinton", as he doesn’t like orange people, and has many skeletons in his closet,
• He watched the Endgame before Captain Marvel: “I don’t want to be mean and I don’t want people to get a wrong idea, but in Captain Marvels stand alone movie, is she like interesting or funny or cool or fun to be around? Cause she ain’t any of that in this movie.”