"And I'm Rags!"
Rags, also called Rag, Rag's, Rags's's's's, and many other variations thereof, is a sapient male shiba inu who appears on the EFAP Podcast. He also runs his own channel of the same name.
- 1 Appearance
- 2 Personallity
- 3 The Guest/Host Plot Hole
- 4 History
- 5 Womanhood
- 6 Powers and Abilities
- 7 Trivia
- 8 Quotes
- 9 References
Rags is a shiba inu with tan colored fur in two tones, darker on top and lighter on the underside. He almost always wears black pixelated sunglasses, which he uses to cover his down syndrome eyes. Rags wears no clothes, but is only indecently dressed when he doesn’t have shades. He is a fine specimen of a dog, making him the object of desire for many men, women, and canines alike.
Rags' human, whom he sometimes accidentally refers to as himself, has a long head of hair and trimmed facial hair, and has the most beautiful pair of blue eyes anyone has ever seen.
Rags has a very confident persona, making him a lot of enemies and fans. He is very quick-witted and can hold his own in a discussion. Rags has a deep love and compassion for animals.
With that being said, he can get angry out of frustration and can do something very irresponsible like making a sex tape with Wolf.
Rags thinks of himself as a bit narcissistic.
The Guest/Host Plot Hole
While often treated as and referred to as a host, Rags is officially a recurring guest. This is the only plot hole in all of EFAP.
Rags used to fight different massives before EFAP, usually Console peasants and SJWs. Eventually he joined the 4 Horsemen of PC Gaming alongside Fringy. Later he met Wolf and, after TLJ, MauLer. The trio soon started hanging out together, eventually creating EFAP to battle against Video Essayists far and wide.
Rags came together with MauLer and Wolf at the beginning of the yet-unnamed podcast, witnessing the introductions of Tonald and The Forbidden One, then delving into the mind of Patrick Willems (though Rags missed out on their second look at him). He was there for Jonathan MacIntosh's TLJ defense and MovieBob's first appearance, and battled against CinemaSinsSins in the midseason finale, though he was absent from SinsSins' redemption episode. What it was all building up to, however, was the three-part finale of the Quinton Arc. Rags was naturally a key component in this, since it was his response to I Hate Everything's The Last Jedi review that kicked the whole thing off, and The Right Opinion's response to Rags was the vehicle by which Quinton snuck in his critique of MauLer. It was in this trilogy where the spelling Rag's was born.
Rags was absent from the first episode of Season 2, but came back in full force when the gang took a look at Cosmonaut Variety Hour's video on the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies. Rags got to look at women thanks to Maj0rLee, argued against the wetness of water while looking at Shinobi's Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom video, and got his first glimpse into the mind of Taxxon before the Taxxon-Saint collaboration. He witnessed Joseph Anderson's take on subjectivity, and spoke the first "Hi Rags" to himself before creating the character of Kyle Ben during CinemaWins' TLJ video. He tackled CinemaSins' Infinity War video with Jay, SarahZ's media criticism video with JLongbone, and witnessed Tonald's true glory with WeekendWarrior. Rags powered through the first half of the final battle against the Taxxon-Saint duumvirate, but he and Wolf had to tap out before the second half of the battle. To cap off the season, Rags and Wolf clashed on whether grapes are weird olives while looking at Snoman Gaming's "A Creator's Opinion Is Implied" with Voxis. Rags and the gang were then visited by The Forbidden One, who dubbed Voxis "The Blessed Butthole" in his last outing before his true nature was revealed.
Season 3 - Part 1
Rags and MauLer, joined by "The Last Jedi: A Complete Cinematic Failure" auteur Vito, kicked things off with the debate against Maj0rLee. He was joined by CJ to not learn the secret of Mario's jump from "The Secret of Mario's Jump," and watched RennsReviews claim Mission Impossible: Fallout was bad alongside newcomer Southpaw. Rags was joined by WorldClassBullshitters and Geeks & Gamers to learn about the Toxic Brood, a group they had actually been a part of the whole time, from AJcaraballo95, and then by Appabend to witness HelloGreedo attempt to defend the TLJ bombers and Tonald, now Slownald, praise DMC5's lack of Artificial Barriers of Blockage. He uncovered the existence of the Madea Cinematic Universe while dredging through clickbait with The Drunken Peasants, witnessed the Arrival Debate between Wolf and Jay, and was joined by none other than E;R for a breakdown of Avengers Endgame. Rags was absent for EFAP 34, but returned to 35 for a conversation with Shadiversity. He witnessed the tragic origin of The Don with Fringy, RobotHead, and Al, watched Browntable throw around accusations of sexual harassment and NoBS throw around accusations of transgender robotics with Al and PSA Sitch, and rounded out the Captain Marvel Trilogy by responding to LegalEagle's slanderous accusations against The Don with MauLer and Wolf.
Season 3 - Part 2
Rags was absent for EFAP 39, but returned for EFAP 40 to find out why Doom Eternal looks terrible because of poles and sausages with Critical Drinker, though he had to leave the stream before the Doom Sausage Man came on for a chat. He returned later in the stream to watch Schaffrillas Productions claim that The Last Jedi handled Luke better than Avengers Endgame handled Thor with Jay and Shad, continuing into EFAP 41 where they were joined by Fringy. He and Theo learned from Extra Credits about how you didn't ask for it, you didn't choose it, but all of a sudden, you're a Nazi. He fought alongside MauLer and Jay in the Spider-Man Homecoming Debate against Jeff from WorldClassBullshitters and Nerdrotic, then joined forces with them to respond to "How Star Wars Fans KILLED Star Wars." He was absent for the remainder of the Spider Wars, but returned for EFAP 46 with CynicSnacks and the Blessed Pipeman to find out from
Wisecrack Me High Cheek Sent Me High why the Game of Thrones ending was good, according to Jared. He responded to DX's "Modern Critique Bingo" with Theo and Southpaw and had a little chat with DX afterwards, but had to head out before they covered Just Write's video on objectivity. Rags watched Browntable ponder Good Rat with JLongbone and Metal in EFAP 48, and they all returned right after to hear MovieBob defend The Last Jedi as a love letter to Star Wars in EFAP 49, where they were joined by Pipeman, CJ, and Jay.
Rags arrived late to EFAP 50, having set his alarm for the wrong time.
Rags kicked off Year 2 of EFAP by battling against Jay in the Minecraft Stairs Debate in EFAP 51, fighting hard but ulimately losing to Jay's superior facts and logic. He learned from The Closer Look why the end of Avengers Endgame should have been more epick like Helm's Deep in EFAP 52 with Fortea and Drinker, then about why men are ruining Star Wars from DaveKnows in EFAP 53 with the Australian Triple Threat. Rags, Jay, and a sleepy Aydin Paladin witnessed the return of Quinton in EFAP 54, then caught up on superchats in EFAP 55. In EFAP 56, he was joined by DasBo and MistaGG took a look at YouTube's list of naughty words and hear a defense of Game of Throns from YezenIRL, who then came on for a debate with Rags, MauLer, and Nerdrotic in EFAP 58. Rags, Drinker, Doomcock, and Weekend were there for the beginning of the Joker War in EFAP 57, which continued into EFAP 59 with Wolf returning for Jenny Nicholson's review. After being slandered by the Knights of Jen, Rags joined fellow Alt-Right Leftists Jay, DasBoSchitt, Geeks and Gamers, and Ryan Kinel to laugh at the aftermath and look at memes. The Joker War continued with Rags, Wolf, JLongbone, and ThatStarWarsGirl taking a look at MovieBob's second attempt to take the film down and Nando's rewrite in EFAP 61. Rags learned how to correctly share opinions from Arlo with Fringy, Shad, and Jay in EFAP 62, then ranked the EFAP villains and looked at memes with Jay, Metal, and DasBo on EFAP 63. EFAPs 64 and 65 served as the Farewell to Wolf, where Rags and MauLer gave him a sendoff by responding to the alleged best Last Jedi defense and an actually good Tonald video, before bringing in Jay and Fringy and having a debate with the legendary Remarkable Republican with the help of Shad.
Replacement by John
Rags was replaced by John in EFAP 104, after an unknown and possibly non-existent drama that was referenced by Jay. John was immediately promoted from guest to host, despite Rags not actually being a host. Less than 10 minutes later, John was re-replaced by Rags, and all record of John's time as host was erased from EFAP history.
"Why am I always the woman?"
- Rags, EFAP 30
Rags' womanhood was first hinted at when he, MauLer, and Wolf played Aliens: Colonial Marines. Rags was automatically given the female character model, but the game could not remember who was who and ended up transferring Rags' womanhood to Wolf for most of the game, leaving Rags as the opposite gender: Hispanic. Nevertheless, Rags' state as a woman lived on, and Rags wondered aloud why he was always portrayed as a woman after an EFAP meme portrayed him as Captain Marvel. Wolf reminded him that Aliens: Colonial Marines had been the one to deem him a woman. Since then Rags has been regularly portrayed as a woman in the meme lore, replacing every female character in the girl power scene from Avengers: Endgame and in The Last Stand of EFAP. Rags also notably appeared in the You Get to Look at Women Episode of EFAP. Despite this, Rags is still referred to with masculine pronouns.
Powers and Abilities
- F-word pass - Rags is bisexual, and therefore can say the F-word.
- Knowledge and usage of multiple firearms - Rags can shoot from anything with great proficiency.
- Swordmanship - Rags knows how to use sword-like weapons.
- Mod Ban - Not something Rags has normally but was once gifted with. Lets him ban a person for 300 seconds, or several hours if it's Wolf.
- Because he has such a immense power now, Rags no longer needs glasses to hide his eyes, as they are filled with energy.
- After defeating Wolf, Rags stole his pelt and wore it for himself, not only serving as intimidation, but looking stylish at the same time (plus, it filtted the fluff around Rags's neck, so it also does that).
- With great pride, Rags adorned the paws of Wolf's pelt with his badge, displaying his status as moderator.
- Well, he has a big dick, so obviously he would want to brag about his assets.
- Paw-to-hand combat - Rag can fight pretty well, against TLJ defenders and massives alike.
- Knowledge - Rags can own many people with facts and logic, from Console Peasants and SJWs to Disnoids.
- Only female host and first female guest.
- The name "Rags" means nothing, it just sounded nice.
- Rags' first word was "duck."
- Rags disavows all racism besides canine supremacy.
- Rags' tangents and baits easily become fan-favorite EFAP moments.
- Futa Rags is NOT canon.
- Because the pair of pants argument, Rags does not wear them.
- Rag is smiling with sadness.
- Sometimes he wears a horse head because it is reference to his big d.
- Rags hates marriage.
- Rags didn’t cry when he was 10.
- Rags' bathroom has a tv.
- Rags doesn’t associate good people with peggin'.
- Rags' maneuver, fucking yourself in the ass with a portal gun.
- Rags doesn’t care for women wearing makeup, as it makes him feel like they are living a lie.
- He is an Aquarius.
- Likes llamas, but not cats. “Of course you have a cat." Wolf admits they are not useful, but they are nice pets.
- Rags couldn’t find the chain door to open it with pliers, but couldn’t fide it and have to go look or them, back track around, but its because he didn’t try to open the doors, which would have made them visible to the map
- Rags' knight chivalry/superhero code, “I poop alone.”
- When Rags' is in a library and someone makes noise, he yells “HEY, SHUT UP, THIS IS A LIBRARY." Rags whispering in a library, “Shut your mouth before I rip your spleen out through your throat.”
- In summer, Rags is a bee and has lot of pollen in him, and during Halloween, Rags dresses as a slutty bee.
- Rags doesn't consent to wearing a dog collar.
- Rags is the keymaster, stealing keys with the help of the Reaper.
- Rags is looking for a goblin, but only found a goblet in the chest.
- Rags the Bedbreaker broke a bed while having sex. He is an animal. It breaks in the Middle as he is always tries to be in the the Middle. Wolf can’t know that since he hasn’t broken his beds in his gay romances. you cant put gayman in a box, you cant contain them.
- Rags doesn’t wank on the Mark Brown videos, he mutes them first.
- Mark Brown's video killed him and made him lock and load his guns. Rags wasn’t in the state to stand, he just crawled over the kitchen, sucked the eggs out of the shell and took to napping on the bathroom floor.
- Rags' brother is an English major and very anal about language.
- If you put game ending spoilers in a thumbnail, Rags thinks you should kill yourself.
- Rags' stomach fur is tactile and has good gamefeel.
- Rags got PTSD from the "Secret to Mario's Jump" video, as he realized he would have to go outside and be seen by other people.
- Rags needs representation as Orphans need bone density and parents.
- Rags tends to refer videos as “films”.
- Rags can't talk to Rags, as he called him a massive faggot.
- Rags didn’t see Aliens before 2018. He liked it, but not that much, of course, as it has a female lead, who accomplished more then the males. Main character should have been Bishop, says Wolf. He uses Aliens as counter to sexism, as it has a female lead and people love it.
- Rags is a nudist on principle.
- In Rags' world, fat people can't vote or act.
- Rags has got a lot to show (big D).
- MauLer is Rags' best friend, as said by Quinton.
- Rags is not movie reviewer, but a movie handler.
- Rags was born excited.
- Rags is too much of a Lawful Good to be affected by the weed.
- He can't read.
- Rags loves murdering people on Thursdays.
- Rags "porked" the fridge by putting a pig inside it.
- Rags' stripper name back in the day was “Iron Giant”.
- Rags the dog and Rag’s’s the human, which came first, dog or the owner?
- Rags doesn’t like brown on brown. He's got to separate the browns from the white doors, separate the white doors from the brown doors.
- Rags respects people's pronouns, so he calls Riley Dennis "a cunt".
- To Rags, midgets are subhuman since they are so short that they are closer to the ground and live in holes underground, like hobbits. He has many dwarf friends, as they take up less space on trains. He doesn’t want to name the dwarf as he wants to “lay low”.
- Rags doesn’t want to be a part of the Intellectual Gaming Community, he just wants to have fun.
- Rags remembers that the Bible says you own your wife. ("Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22)
- If there’s something Rags knows, it’s the shape of heads.
- Rags' vocal sound waves are visible and annoy people.
- Rags' dad likes The Last Jedi.
- Rags is pro child murder, Revenge of the Sith is a love letter to him.
- Rags thinks it's gay not to drink beer, so his the only straight person in the trio, since MauLer doesn’t like beer and Wolf won't drink it. He is also straight since he has not played Aliens: Colonial Marines before they played it together and Wolf has played it before.
- Rags' wrestling name was “Trolley Problem”.
- Rags hates jumping in games, since Halo jumping is weird.
- Someone threatened to poop in Rags' house with the door open.
- Rags doesn’t pee on his PC. He uses air cooling, so he doesn’t have to piss on his PC.
- Rags has had both arms and tentacles. They felt different.
- Rags could handle Ant-Man expanding in his ass.
- Rags likes to do midgets, upside down, and spin them around. He has sex and spins them like Beyblades, sending them up and they are never found, unless there is a ceiling that stops them.
- Rags looks like a Puerto-Rican porn star.
- “I still came,” the name of Rags' biography.
- Rags hates it in a game if someone is shot in the head with a handgun and the head just disappears.
- Rags gave MauLer a "Faggot Pass".
- Rags hopes people will drown in silk if they like soy milk (silk, soy milk.) He likes soy MILF.
- Rags punching down on DC, it’s like a cartoon dog biting a building, then going to a flower bed and pissing on it.
- “Don’t be hard on Rags, he has had 3 beers”.
- Rags doesn’t care for vegan cross fitters, they should go back to their country.
- When Rags starts to talk and rant, he is sprayed with a water bottle.
- Rags doesn’t like partners that smoke and have bad teeth or beards, as the beard gets in the way during kissing.
- Rags can’t grow a beard, just stubble.
- Don't assume Rags's guns gender
- Rags plays the hat in Monopoly. Anyone who tries to play it can fuck themselves with the car. He puts the hat on the dog, he is the dog hat.
- Rags is the best at sucking and blowing.
- Rags's childhood bike was a light red shade, but everyone called him a faggot as they though it was pink.
- Rags might be blind and can only see with the force.
- If he had bionic organs, Rags would have a heart, but he wouldn’t mod it to shoot bullets, it would have to be the tongue.
- Cinema Sins should be yiffed by Rags.
- To get Wolf's pelt, Rags didn’t skin him alive, he skinned him dead.
- Rags likes Thor: The Dark World because of the fights.
- Rags is very knowledgeable about Loompa lore.
- Rags got an A in biology by fucking his teacher.
- Rags knows who Steppenwolf is.
- Rags was so tired that he almost fell over from peeing.
- He pees for himself, nobody pees for him.
- Rags' piss comes in and comes out clear.
- Rags is only high on life.
- People don’t talk over Rags and his small voice, they talk under him. Especially when he's using his outside voice and not his inside voice.
- Rags doesn’t consent to wearing masks.
- Rags just wants to breed new people to kill Star Wars, then resurrect it and kill it, one needs to play the long game of killing starwars
- Rags collects historical types of money and has some Nazi currency.
- Rags' favorite beer is this one, this very specific one.
- Rags doesn’t want to see people's faces when they are making greeting, only after it.
- Rags has driven all cars.
- Rags is mute, he just has a device in his throat that lets him talk.
- Rags is not just some dog, his the best dog, even though he is a horse.
- Rags is a Slytherin, as he slithers in.
- In-game Rags would be the faggot that abuses game mechanics, like force choking and picking up people and throwing them.
- Rags is a racist, but a shitty racist, since he can't stop not discriminating against black people.
- Rags is an oxygen drinker.
- Rags has burned stone, Jay gave up in the endeavor.
- If Rags were an animal, he would be a caribou.
- Rags is also Jay, as Rags lips syncs so well that he can interrupt himself.
- Rags always looks in the butthole first.
- Make fun of Rags and Reaper takes your life, they made a deal.
- Sausage Raider is Rags' nickname.
- Rags fills his goblins with his opponent's tears, makes them salty.
- Rags is “sassy power botttom,” best at controlling his balls.
- Rags needs all the keys to unlock people's hearts, as no one likes him.
- Rags has a hard time concentrating at this point of the timeline.
- Rags loves to generalize.
- Hey Rags, how many orgy debates you’ve had?
- Rags is dying very, very slowly.
- eternal youth as 7 year old, rags thinks its good
- Rags was born ready and ankles, goes outside to do his pissing, as who would do it where they sleep?
- Rags used to work at the hotel, where he met George Takei and Michael Cera.
- Rags ruined Grandma.
- Rags drives a 2004 MazdaSpeed Miata
- Most women he has met have not been in his bedroom
- Rags collects historical money
- Rags' advice for a first date is to "take that bitch to the zoo," but only if you have a means by which to transport said bitch to said zoo
- Hi Rags!
"I bet Kelly Marie Tran's got a rockin' pair of tits" - EFAP 86
"Godzilla - King of the Monsters!"
"It would take like eight Smurfs to give you a handjob" - EFAP 110
"Thirty's like a milestone. If you're married for thirty years, it's like an annivesary." - EFAP 30
"I've never heard a smart people say that" - EFAP 2
"That's a penis couch." - EFAP 42
"Listen, forty percent of men over the age of fifty struggle with erectile dysfunction. It's totally normal and it's nothing to be ashamed about! You shouldn't joke about it!" "Thank you Rags." - Rags and MauLer, EFAP 19
“Hope is about doing nothing.”
(Upon being asked who let the Rags out) "It was me, I'm in control of my destiny."
“I’m a horse and good at jumping."
"What seems to be the officer, problem?" -Drunk Rags
“Why don’t you chew that spit and walk to the bank with it?”
“We got a few survivors, I can take care of it, sir.”
“People who shoots dogs are Wolf and no one else.”
“Black people play with yarn, or Black Panther as his cat.”
“I think this is a reference to something.”
”Early at the night-morning.”
“You fools, I’m the best at catching boxes with my face.”
(At the discovery that Wikipedia doesn’t have a birth-date for an actor) "Everyone has a birthday, even Jesus!"
“Money costs money.”
“You got to space-out your spending budget.”
Pant vs a scissor blade, and pair of pants of Wolf Rags “I learned it from a Charlie Brown comic, Charlie Brown tries his best.”
"OG Rags, talking about the scissors like the good old days."
“Fists are connected, every part of your body is connected.” One fist is a fist, two fist is a fists.
“Eat my dust in the track of life.”
“I’m awful, which means I’m fuel for awe.”
“I'm so healthy, healthy as a horse.”- Horse-Head Rags
“A grape is like a weird olive.”
“An orange is just a weird apple.”
"A penguin is like a weird Oreo."
"Get in the bathtub," and, "What use is a modest lady?"
"I can't believe people pay us for this."
"Yeah, white power, white power, the south shall rise again…"
“Superchat a day keeps the Creepers away."
Rags: “They grow from vines.” Wolf: “A lot of things grow from vines, Rags.” Rags: “Exactly.”
Comment: "Rags is like a weird cat." Rags: "Well you can just fuck yourself too."
“Vergil is me now, Vergil encapsulates my spirit”
“Shit down my throat and call it Christmas.”
“Have you ever taken a shit that makes you tired?”
“I am a guy with a bull head.”
“In a minute I could download a hundred gay worlds.”
“Straw is sort of like a barrel, it’s a food barrel.”
“Jesus was a communist.”
"Slave labor is cool."
“I can read, I can decipher the man-speak with my doggo eyes.”
“Just because someone is screaming doesn’t mean they are being raped.”
“I'm now more alive than ever before my life.”
“You eat so much pizza that you absorb the garlic.”
“Stop normalizing Nick Cage.“
“If you don’t vote, the big midgets win.”
“Unconditional love is worthless.”
“He doesn’t deserve to love me.”
“I am Happy Feet the movie.”
“Water is like liquid elevator music.”
“Don’t get molested by the gay black daddies.”
“Prepare your sphincters.”
"You cant have despair without hope."
“Those are not head tits, those are ears.”
“Man who killed Hitler is my hero.”
"Past tense of ping is pong."
"I'm as loose as they come."
“7 out of 3 people are good at fractions.”
“I have a great dick, thanks Dad.”
“Anyone in the world is a man until proven otherwise.”
"Why are you leaping into my anus?"
“Satan says free the nipple.”
“I just remembered that my world didn’t have ladders.”
“I'm filled with righteous justice, I’m like space Judge Dredd.”
“Buffy is just a knockoff of Planet of the Apes.”
“You don’t need to get to concept's ass, its just the intent.”
“I’m going to drown In mad elf pussy.”
"like the Bermuda triangle, airships are job creators, with mechanics and carpenters"
“Gumby is a real thing, he had a horse for friend.” (Gumby's equine companion is named Pokey.)
“I'd rather be handicapped than a communist.”
"Sometimes you just want to see a titty"